“Hey, phil”
“what, Dan?”
Dan watched Phil eating. They were both in the living room on the sofa.
“I was just wondering… Why did you never tell me?”
“what, Dan?”
Phil knew what he was asking, but still.
“That you like boys.”
Phil was avoiding eye contact, but Dan kept looking at him while he ate
“You always knew this”
“No, I always thought that, you /thought/ you liked boys, but in reality you liked girls.”
“Well, I guess I thought you’d think It would be weird to share the apartment, because of our fans shipping us and stuff”
“um” was Dan’s response. He looked back at his computer.
Something was different in the air. Phil felt like they weren’t comfortable as they were with each other before.
Phil was watching anime now, and Dan was on Tumblr as always. They didn’t talk for at least 30 minutes, but then..
“UUGGH, EWWW” –
“What is it, Dan?” – Phil asked, seeing how disgusted Dan looked.
“Phil I just read the creepiest thing ever… But it’s kinda funny to be honest” – He chuckled “I didn’t think our subscribers could get any weirder”
“What is it?”
“You know what, just forget about it”
“No please I wanna read it too if you read”
“okay then go on the ‘phan’ tag, everyone’s talking about it.”
Phil grabbed his laptop and went on tumblr. It was true, everyone was talking about it.
“The skin fic?” – He asked, confused.
Dan chuckled.
“Yes. Read it. But I don’t wanna be around while you read so I’ll take a shower. Anna is coming ok?”
*Great. Anna is coming. That’s a change* Phil thought ironically. Dan left him alone, and he started reading.
*JESUS CHRIST* Phil thought. This was really disturbing, and now he was feeling weird because DAN read it. After 10 minutes, Dan was back there.
“Sorry Phil I need to go already. We’re going to the movies. Bye”
Dan ran out of the apartment in 3 seconds. Phil felt something bad in his stomach, like he was about to be sick. He ran to the bathroom, and the images that formed in his mind while he read the story wouldn’t go away. It wasn't the first time he read a fanfiction, or 'phanfiction'... Sometimes he would spend hours reading, wishing it was really true. He started crying. WHY THE HELL DID HE TELL DAN ABOUT THAT? He shouldn’t have called him. Everything was going to change. What if Dan decided to move? What would their fans say?
It was Saturday night and he was completely alone.
Phil spent 3 hours thinking, about how fucked up he was. No one would ever like him. All his subscribers only watched his videos because of Dan, truth is Dan was more beautiful, funnier and better than him. He wanted to tell him how he felt, but on the other hand he was pretty sure Dan didn’t like him that way, so why would he even bother?
At about 10pm, Phil heard the front door opening, and then Anna laughing. He was pretty sure they were kissing now, and Dan would start whispering things in her ear, and she would laugh, and then they’d go to Dan’s bedroom and have sex. It happened every week. Normally, Phil left the apartment, or just put on his headphones so he didn’t need to listen, but that night, he was feeling so bad, he decided to just stay there. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to listen to them having sex, he just did. Even though Dan had closed the door, he was sure he would be able to listen. Phil was on twitter, reading what people were saying but not actually tweeting anything.
For 20 minutes it was quiet. Then it started. It was surprising how much she was screaming his name, and Phil wished he was in her place.
He started crying again, not sobbing, it was quiet tears. He got up, and went just outside Dan’s bedroom. He put his ear on the door and he heard Dan.
That was it, he couldn’t stay there anymore. He left, not knowing where he was going. *A BAR* he thought. That’s exactly what he needed. Alcohol would make him forget everything. He wandered for 20 minutes, not knowing where he was going.
*NO PHILIP YOU CAN’T DO THIS, DON’T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?”
Truth is, he had no place to go. He didn’t want to meet with any other guy. He didn’t want to get drunk, he wasn’t that kind of man. He just wanted Dan. *Is it so much to ask?* he thought.
He went back to the apartment, already preparing his earphones. He would take a sleeping pill and listen to music, he wouldn’t hear anything and it would be okay.
Phil was going upstairs when he heard them screaming. It wasn’t sexual though, they were really fighting.
He stopped and went back downstairs, he felt Anna’s voice coming closer so he sat on the sofa and quickly grabbed the laptop so it would look like he was there doing something all the time.
He opened it and realized it was Dan’s laptop. It was logged on a twitter, but it wasn’t Dan’s account. It was a fan account. The username was something involving dan ‘is not on –something’ The bio said “youtubers destroyed my life. I have an unhealthy obsession with Phil Lester and Sherlock. Phil tweeted 2x”. The name was something involving llamas, the icon was a picture of Dan derping, the location was ‘dan’s bed’. The account had 1k followers, followed 2k people and had 5k tweets.
WHY THE HELL would Dan be logged on a fan account?
He heard Dan and Anna screaming, they were going downstairs. Phil quickly memorized the username and closed Dan’s laptop. Anna was sobbing.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE DOING THIS, DAN. I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING. WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 MONTHS, WHY CAN’T YOU LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE YOU?” Anna screamed.
Now, Dan was trying to be calm.
“Anna let’s go back to my room, sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you!!”
“NO DAN. I’M GOING HOME.”
She grabbed her bag that was on the sofa and realized Phil was there. She gave him a death look and said
“I hope you’re happy now, Phil”
With that, she burst the door open and ran out.
a/n:
are you sure you want to keep reading i told you its not good
YOU ARE READING
Love isn't easy (Phan)
Fanfiction[COMPLETE] Dan has a girlfriend and never thought Phil had feelings for him. What happens when Phil decides to open up? Warnings: smut and fluff, boyxboy (THE TITLE DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY, it's all fluffy, so don't worry there's n...
