Chapter 40

                                    

                                          
"So..." Jisung said, fiddling with his hand as he sat on Minho's bed.
"Stop stressing" Minho reassured "We're just having a talk, it's not that bad, mmh ?"
"Yep" He took a big breath "So last friday... I had a hook up"
"Mmh"
"And..." 
"How was he ?" Minho asked curiously.
"Not better than you are" Jisung said, very seriously. And that did helped Minho's ego.
"Mmh"
"But it's not the point" He shook his head "I was super drunk, and went for the first guy I saw, thinking it would be as it always is and shit and ..."
"And ... ?"
"Waking up, I felt so ... bad" He frowned
"Bad ?" Minho asked, taken aback.
"So... guilty" Jisung admitted, shyly
"Because of me ...?" He asked, trying to make sure he wasn't misunderstanding.
"Yeah..."
Jisung had no idea how much that statement made Minho giddy.
"Wow" He only responded, too much in a awe.
"So I talked with Hyunjin... who said that was more progress than anything else"
"It is actually" Minho smiled brightly "I'll be completely honest, but knowing that makes me really flattered, and really happy" He admitted
"Well... Hyunjin also said something really interesting..." He continued, trying to shake off the shyness "Um... That if you were the one having a hook up ... I don't think I would like it either..."
And again, Minho's heart started throbbing in his chest.
"So, you're jealous for me, and I'm jealous for you, right ?" Minho asked softly, not an ounce of judgment in his tone.
"Yeah..."
"So, what does that mean, Hannie ?" 
"Hyunjin said it might be the next step for ... exclusivity ? ... Like ... If I don't like having hookups anymore because it makes me feel guilty, and that you fill my needs way enough ... and that I like being around you ... and that I won't like if you do have hookups other than me ... yeah... exclusivity" He rambled
"He isn't completely wrong, right ?" Minho said, not pressuring but trying to follow his way of thinking
"It kinda scared me ... because it's just.. like dating" Jisung confessed
"And it's still to soon, right ?"
"Yes, I think so" Jisung pouted
"And it's okay" He smiled at him "Then let's put a contract on our situationship, okay ?"
"What does that mean ?" He frowned
"We don't have to stick to whatever rules of social relationships the world give us, honey. Listen" He said, moving closer to him, facing him and holding his hands "Let's say that you like me, and that I like you. It's a statement we both agreed on and we feel okay with it. We spend time together, and we sleep together, and we both feel okay with it. I want you to be exclusive to me, and you want me to be exclusive to you, and we both feel okay with it. That's it. That's the terms of our relationship. As time passes, as your mind clears, as your fears lessen, we'll communicate again and put new terms over our status. We don't have to be official, we don't have to name whatever we're having as long as you're not ready for it. How does that sounds ?" He asked.
Jisung was slightly blushing, truthfully moved. How could the guy be more and more attractive ?
"I like the idea ... But..."
"Mmh ?"
"I'm so scared of messing up though... Being exclusive also means that if I mess up, I cheat, and I really don't want to do that" Jisung admitted
"Open relationships do exist" Minho defended
"But you don't really like the idea ... right ?" He asked
"Not really ..." Minho admitted
"The thing is ... that I don't think I do either" He admitted too.
They stared at each other in the eyes, while Minho opened his mouth, before closing it.
"What ?" Jisung asked
"I- I thought of something, but it seemed ... wrong" He shook his head
"Say it anyway" Jisung reassured
"I thought that maybe ... pushing you into exclusivity might be a good idea ... you're so scared of finding another way to cope and facing your fears that ... maybe the fear of hurting me could push you to move forward ... But that seems ... selfish to say ... it serves my want and maybe it's a bit too subjective and biased..." He said, rambling.
"It does sounds selfish" Jisung chuckled "But I also know you're far from manipulative, and I do think that it might be useful for me ... yes... And that if there's one person in this world that could make me move forward ... that it cannot be someone else than you" 
Minho was too soft, he couldn't help but lean in and press their lips together.
And Jisung couldn't help but smile in the kiss, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he pulled him closer, laying down on the boy's bed and bringing him along with it.

"Min"
"Mmh?"
"Make love to me ?"
"Yes, love, gladly"  "Let me cherish you, mmh ?"

~~
Hyun
hannie
so yeah
min and i are offically unofficially in an unnamed exclusive relation-situationship
and we made love
and i'm proud to say i really like it.
hyun
minho is my hero 
and you, healing so well, couldn't make me more happy
i'm so
SO
proud
hannie
<33