Chapter Nineteen: Hesitate

                                    

                                          
I keep tossing and turning in bed as those lyrics keep playing in my head. I will take your pain, and put it on my heart. I won't hesitate, just tell me where to start. No one has ever been willing to take my pain. The moment I vent to another individual, or even a partner, all of them run away. Well, all of them except for my best friend Tessa. However, I know she is going to run away after she sees that Joe and I are "dating" in quotations.
    "I will take your pain..." I started singing. "And put it on my heart..."
    After twenty minutes of tossing and turning, I called Joe Jonas. I feel like I need to hear his voice right now. He picked up the phone almost immediately.
    "Hey, Joe!" I said.
    "What's up, Jess?" He asked.
    He called me Jess again. This time, I was okay with him calling me that. By okay, I no longer hated it.
    "I keep thinking about these song lyrics," I answered him,
    "What lyrics?" He groaned.
    "I will take your pain..." I started to repeat them to Joe. "and put it on my heart."
    He sighed and then he took a pause. I feel like it was to think for a moment.
    "That was about Sophie," He said. "I wrote it for her before we got married."
    I could tell this subject was going to be hard to talk about, so I didn't push him further.
    "Sorry for interrupting you." I said to him, "I wanted to just say hi. I'm going to go back to sleep now."
    "Well, good night Jess." He replied.
~
    I woke up in the morning, grabbing my phone to see a few texts from Joe. The first one was a good morning text and the next few were pictures of him on the bus on the way to Los Angeles. I sighed and then stood up, walking toward my closet.
    I changed into a red T-shirt that showed my cleavage decently and then I put on some blue jeans, tucking the bottom of my red shirt inside the jeans. I wore a belt around my jeans and then put on my red Adidas that matched my shirt. I went to the mirror and took a photo, sending it to Joe Jonas.
    He responded: Cute.
    I texted him: You like what you see?
    He texted: Yeah, I do.
    He asked me to send him a photo of what I'm wearing so in case the photos get leaked, it would help us with our fake relationship. It helps in that regard. I put my phone into my pocket and then walked out to Tessa, opening the door and letting her back inside the apartment.
    "You're up." She said, hugging me lightly.
    I've always been a late riser. I try to wake up in the morning, but it doesn't work. It only works when I have an alarm clock right by me.
    "Sure am!" I replied.
~
    Later that evening, I am scrolling through videos of Joe Jonas until I see a video of him from tonight's concert in Los Angeles. He posted, saying that he performed at the Dodgers stadium and then posted a story about how proud of himself he was to be able to perform in the Dodgers stadium.
    I was gazing at the photo of the story. I laid down in bed and then the Cake by the Ocean ringtone started playing from my phone. I rolled my eyes and answered it.
    "Hello?" I answered the call.
    "I'm coming to San Francisco tomorrow," Joe said. "I want to see you then."
    He wants to see me in San Francisco? Didn't I tell him not to anyway because of Tessa? I don't need her finding out and foiling it for the both of us.