Chapter Fourteen

                                    

                                          
On wednesday when she woke to bloodied thighs she almost screamed in joy. She would not have to birth Nicholas' demon child just yet. She needed to find a way to get birth control, she couldn't ask anyone in her family or her maids. Her eyes turned to David, he was reading a book across from her in the library. 
    She wouldn't be going out today, the weather was dreary and her brothers and their wives would be arriving any moment. She was anxious to ask, it wasn't the type of thing a guard would ever be asked of. He was the only one here not loyal to Nicholas or her family, the only one who might say yes.
    "Could I ask you something odd?" She finally spoke, finding the nerve after a few moments of watching him.
    "As you have been staring at me for almost five minutes, of course. I have been anticipating the question." Of course he noticed that.
    "Would you be able to get me birth control?" His hands clenched around the book he read, his knuckles turning white from the hold. 
    The way he was looking at her made her skin itch, she felt a need to curl into herself even though she knew it wasn't directed towards her even if his gaze was not leaving her. He sat the book down, not seeming to care he hadn't marked the page before it fell shut. 
    "Fallon, why are you asking me for this?" Her eyes fluttered to the hardwood floor, taking in the intricate lines on each individual piece. 
    "I have a need for it." 
    "Have you already had a need for it?" She didn't like the tone his voice was taking, it reminded her of her brother's voice before they striked. 
    "I don't see how that is a concern, I just need it now." A fist slammed against the coffee table and she jumped. 
    "Fallon, has he touched you in ways you did not want?" 
    She stood and let her own book fall onto the couch, she started heading to the door. This was a mistake she should have just tried to sneak out herself to get it. Though she had not even the first clue on how she would do that. 
    "Fallon!" David called to her but she refused to turn back. 
    "I'm sorry for bringing it up, it's too much to ask of my guard." She apologies. 
    "Fallon, I will get you the medicine but just tell me what happened?" 
    She didn't know how to tell anyone of what happened, of how she was taken against her will. It would have already been so hard just to remember his touch, his hand on her, him inside her. Now though, knowing what her mother did, the thought of telling a soul made her sick. The chill worked its way back up her spine and her body shook before she could even try to form the words, trying to voice that her mother had drugged her so Nicholas could... 
    "Don't ask that of me ever, I am willing to share many things but not that." She opened the door and rushed down the hall, needing to be alone.
    She took a shower, a cold one until her lips chattered and her fingers were numb. She wrapped herself in her robe, still damp from the water and went into her room to lay on the bed. She didn't get to lay long before a quiet knock drew her attention. 
    "Come in." Her maid entered and gave her a small smile. "Your siblings have arrived and everyone's presence is requested for lunch." Everyone... She would be forced to share a meal with her two brothers who found great joy in terrorizing her. 
    "I will be there soon, I just need to dress." The maid nodded and quickly left. 
    She sat on the bed for another moment before dressing herself in a form fitting slick black shirt and a black pair of jeans. She left her feet bare, something she had become accustomed to here. At her parents home she always wore proper clothes and shoes even when she was resting in any room outside her own. At Nicholas she spent so much time either hiding from him in her room or at the beach she rarely put them on. She continued with that here, especially after seeing how Ava dressed for comfort in her home, not caring if her shirt was wrinkled or her bottoms weren't steamed to perfection. 
    She took a step out the door before pausing, Ava might have no problem with the bare feet and even Edward would not care enough to voice anything but her other brothers found any little thing to use against her. One might just try to crush her bare toes for the hell of it, she turned back and put on a pair of black flats. 
    David met her by the stairs, his comfortable ease he usually held in the apartment gone. In its place was a hard man, one who looked like he worked the monsters and crooks of this world. He nodded at her as she passed him and fell into step behind her. 
    She would be alone during this lunch, alone like all her life. David would not be able to stand by her side, he was supposed to be seen as loyal to Nicholas. Ava was to know her place as a good wife to Edward, to follow his lead and not speak up. Edward would do as he always did as he always would do, stay silent. He would watch the abuse thrown at her, would see how the words cut at her like knives being thrown again and again till her confidence was nothing but a tattered piece of thread. 
    Yes he had helped her, had sat beside her while she was scared, had gotten her out of Nicholas home for a time, but he was still a Cavanaugh and she was still their favorite prisoner. 
    The table was set for lunch and her three brothers stood with each other talking to the left by the small bar cart. Each had a drink in hand, a wonderful addition to an already dreadful meal. Their wives sat at the table talking and smiling as Ava held Garren, the small baby smiled up at his mother. Her brother, thankfully, took no notice as she joined the women at the table. Seating herself beside Ava who had motioned to the chair. 
    "Fallon, it is so lovely to see you." My youngest brother's wife, Maria, greets me. 
    She was the daughter of a shipping tycoon and the sole heir to his fortune after her brother's mysterious death last year. It was no hidden secret she was cruel and it was believed she had her brother taken out to get the business for herself. Henry no doubt helped orchestrate the attack, from what she knew it was believed he had fallen off his yacht while drunk one night at sea. 
    His body was never recovered and she was soon named heir by her father. Fallon had gone to his funeral and saw the way she stood there like a goddess among the grieving family. She had not shed a single tear, had only held her fathers shoulder in a comforting touch when the casket had been lowered to the ground. 
    She'd seen the way she grinned at her husband when they left hand in hand, knowing their futures were set. They both had a desire for more, they owned more homes than any of her siblings, held more parties, and had the most extravagant objects. They loved things and they had no shame in flaunting them to everyone they knew. The two of them were perfect for each other. 
    Maria might have been the most beautiful woman she had ever seen too if it wasn't for the ugly soul she held. Her hair was a thick mixture of browns that flowed in waves down her back. Her skin was a light brown, a golden shine to it, no surprise as they lived mainly in her home country of Spain on the beach. 
    "You as well, your dress is beautiful." She complimented her, knowing it would keep her in a kinder mood, she thrived off of others fawning over her and lived for jealousy. Her face gleamed at the compliment as Fallon had expected. 
    Tomas's wife was the one sister in life she felt truly sad for, she always had a sense of loneliness with her. Tomas was a cruel man and she had seemed like a sweet girl when they had met. She would not be surprised if her brother took all the goodness in her and crushed it to find some sort of validation in his worthless world. She no longer smiled like she had before they wed, no longer laughed at jokes, no longer spoke when thoughts came to her. 
    Now she sat there silent and sad, her bright blue eyes now a duller shade, her clear pale face once a reflection of joy was changed to one with dark circles and hollow cheeks. Her hair still laid perfect against her, the blonde strands shining in the light of the dining room, but even they had a lack of life to them. He had been given someone who stood high above and wrecked her till she fell to her knees before him. 
    In another life she imagined they would have been friends, in one where she could actually trust and bond with the women who married into a family that even though she was blood, had never fit into their mold. Heidi was probably the person who could understand her the most but neither of them would be able to trust the other with their past, with their pains. Fallon knew Heidi would turn on her the first chance she needed to, not for desire to maim but in fear of what could happen if he found out from anyone else but her.
    It was why she and Heidi barely even acknowledged the other, even now as she sat directly across from her. She kept her face down, her hair loose, blocking the view of Maria on her left. In another life Fallon would have taken the first step to know more about her, in another life she would have been strong enough to help save a girl who did not deserve to be destroyed. This wasn't that life though, she had to protect herself and to do so meant to ignore the pain of others, to ignore a pain she knew deep in her veins. Heidi was on her own as much as Fallon was and knowing this, seeing it for herself so strongly now she felt something new.
 For the first time she experienced the feeling of pity, the emotion she had seen written across dozens of faces throughout her life. It was odd and unwanted, it brought along with it a wave of failure knowing that she could do nothing. She didn't like this feeling, and didn't want it at all. She had hated seeing it directed towards her by those who watched in silence and now being them, being all those people she had felt such anger and disgust towards she understood them in a different light. 
She was just as bad as them but also just as stuck. She was complacent as much as she was a victim here. Her mind was running, her eyes locked on the frail girl before her. Heidi was a reflection of herself, of who she was and who she had yet to become. She didn't want to be this person, didn't want to become the type to let things like this just happen. So after four years of silence between her and her sister in law, she finally took that small first step. 
"How are you doing today Heidi?"