♡ chapter fifteen ♡

                                    

                                          

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After a long weekend of kicking everyone out of my room, ignoring everybody's calls, and completely falling off of the face of the earth, I'm back at school.
I tried desperately to convince my Mom to not let me go today, but she gave me one of her pep talks- or at least tried to. As soon as she sat me down and said the word 'honey', I was in the shower faster than my Mom married Eric. 
I'm really nervous for today. I know none of the guys are upset with me, but nobody has heard from Yeonjun nor Beomgyu. I wanted to reach out- to Beomgyu of course. I wanted to apologize for dragging him into this mess and tell him how sorry I was. But I figured he and I both needed some space right now, so I left it at that. 
I enter the school and immediately are met with looks from everybody. Not only were my friends blowing me up over the weekend, but so were people I hadn't even knew existed. 
Gossip in America is insane. But gossip in Korea? Absolutely absurd. Everyone saw the fight between Beomgyu and Yeonjun break out, but once people found out it was about me- I was the new Mira. 
"Get lost freaks." Alex says to the people looking at me as he throws his arm around me and continues to walk forward. I tell him 'thank you' before he walks me to my class and says goodbye. I take a deep breathe before walking in and seeing Beomgyu, oh boy. 
I walk back out before he notices me and stand outside the door, oh god. 
What do I even say to him? "Hey Beomgyu sorry for my boyfriend punching you in the face and oh by the way, do you actually like me? Oh me? I don't know how I feel." I say in my head. 
I turn around to face the wall and start slowly banging my head against it when I feel someone tap on my shoulder. I turn around and am greeted by Soobin, Taehyun, and Kai looking at me like I just lost my mind. 
"Hey Ari, you okay...?" Soobin asks me. 
I groan, "I'm seriously not okay. Beomgyu's in there!" I whisper the last part so nobody except them can hear me when Taehyun sighs. 
"Look- we talked to him and he's fine. Now can we please go to class?" Kai looks at him weirdly. 
"You talked to him?! Well- what did he say?" I say before Soobin cuts me off- "Y'know what let's just get to class before Mr Hwang gives me detention, again." He says turning me around and guiding me into the classroom. 
Kai faces Taehyun, "You talked to Beomgyu?" He asks the boy. 
"Nope." Taehyun says walking in leaving Kai behind. 
We walk in and Beomgyu doesn't look up once. We take a seat in our regular spots and I look at Soobin. He shrugs before I sigh and face Beomgyu, "Hey Beomgyu, how are you feeling?" I ask. 
Still looking at his paper he responds with, "Super." 
I look at Soobin once again as he clears his throat, "So uh, you going to band practice after school?" 
"I don't know, is Yeonjun going?" He asks.
"Well we haven't exactly talked to him but, we assume he is-" 
"I work tonight, maybe tomorrow." Beomgyu says. 
"Well-" Kai chimes in, "We need to practice for the album-" 
"Can't get out of work, I'll come tomorrow." He says, still looking at his paper. 
"O-okay, well you're still eating lunch with us right?" 
He shrugs, I sigh. "Beomgyu I'm really so-" 
"Alright class! Let's begin shall we?" Mr Hwang says as he walks into the room, still no sign of Yeonjun. 
When class is finally over we all begin to pack our things. I don't wanna say I was surprised when Beomgyu straight up walked out of class without us but- who can blame him?
He's hurt. His bestfriend just punched him in the face over a girl, who is me. I wanted this to work, me having them both. But it doesn't work like that, it can never work like that, it will never work like that.
So that's why I need to fix things, the only way they can be fixed. 
"Ari, don't worry about-" 
I speed out of the classroom and quickly follow after Beomgyu, not even bothered by my name being called from behind me. I swiftly catch up to him and as soon as he notices I'm beside him, he rolls his eyes. 
"Can't you tell I don't want to be around anyone right now?" He says to me. 
Ouch, but I get it. I clear my throat, "Look, I'm sorry. You don't even know just how sorry I am for all of this Beomgyu. I hurt two of the most important people in my life and I never occurred for any of this to happen."
He doesn't say anything so I step in front of him and just stand there, "Do you really wanna be late to this class? We'll get a whole lecture and-"
"I care more about you then stupid Chemistry class." I say to him and his whole face changes. There's some innocence in the way he looks at me, like he knows I mean well. But there's also hatred, hatred for everything. 
So I sigh, "I've made the decision to leave the friend group. When I came here you guys were fine, no drama. But ever since I got here, there's been a new issue everyday, and it's MY fault. My brother hasn't had any issues here but me? I'm a mess, I've made you guys a mess, I broke up a friendship I never meant to break." I say, he stays silent.
"I never meant for any of this to happen. And the only way it can be fixed, is if I detach myself from you guys. But please, talk to Yeonjun? He's your best friend, no matter what Beomgyu." 
He just stands there looking down at me, I can't even tell what his face says anymore. The bell rings and were still just standing there. I now this is for the best, but I want him desperately to say don't go, stay with me. I want him to tell me that it isn't my fault, comfort me in the way he always has. My heart sinks deeper into my chest when he says...
"Like I said, I don't wanna be around anyone right now." 
He walks away, leaving me there. I want to drop down to the floor and sob. I want to scream so loud right now that I can't even speak anymore, maybe that's what's best. 
Tears streaming down my face, I run as fast as I can out of this school and straight towards my house. It's far, but I don't care, I need to be away from this place, from everyone. 

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