I came to a conclusion that Beyonce's love language was touch. Not that any touch of hers equated to love. 


My weekend turned out to be a good one. I spent it teasing Lauren as I spotted a hickie on her neck when she came back Saturday night. She was shameless about it and even made a dig at my lack of sex life. She's lucky I love her. 





James my love interest in the movie was great, shooting scenes with him was good and between takes we would snap a couple of behind the scenes pictures and shared them on our IG stories. 
What was a harmless post turned into something else. 
The media feasted on it, with Internet users calling me names such as a "cheater". It was just pictures between coworkers having fun on set. 

This was a sign to stay off socmed for a while and just focus on shooting the movie. 


I tried calling Beyonce after getting home but she ignored my calls. She must be busy I thought. 


I was bored so I went into Lauren's room. "I'm sleeping with you tonight" she made a gagging gesture and I threw a pillow at her, "not like that bitch". She laughed and opened her arms for me. I have a sister for life in her. 

With Beyonce ceasing all contact for an entire month, I won't lie and I say wasn't hurt. I focused on shooting the movie and stayed off socmed. 




After a couple of months we wrapped up filming and I was drained. I needed a holiday and what better way to go home and spend time with my mom. 




Trinidad 


Mom was excited to have me back home. "You've lost a bit of weight" of course that was the first thing she said when she saw me, which wasn't entirely wrong. I did what I do best, ignored that comment. 
"So you and Beyonce huh?" I could do with a eye roll but between doing it and having a shoe thrown at me, I'll pass. 
"now mom, you know there's nothing going on between me and Beyonce. If anything I'm out of her league, I'm sure she got super models at speed dail. I'm not about to compete with that, not like she'd give me the chance and I don't even want it". I said all that in one breathe. 
"is it me or you, you're trying to convince? Cause if it's me I'm not sold." I sat down opposite her. "didn't you say you wanted grandkids at some point?" it's like she was prepared for this conversation. "adoption is an option Onika, you better not wait until I'm not around to give me my wish" suddenly it turned serious. 
"don't say that" I quickly got up and brought her in for a hug. 

After that moment I went to my childhood bedroom, everything was as it was before going to America. 



I went through my phone and I saw some texts from Lauren asking me to bring her some of my mom's cooking. 
I said I'd be staying away from socmed meaning no posting but I still went through twitter and IG. 
I saw some fan edits of Beyonce and I and I won't lie they were pretty impressive. Had me believing we were in a relationship. 
Speaking of Beyonce, I was now mad at her. She was avoiding any communication with me. Like I didn't sleep in her bed in her arms a couple of times. 
I'm just as confused, we are certainly not dating, just sleeping. With my anxiety and all, her presence seems to calm me. 

The last time I dated, I got my heart broken by some high school basketball player lucky for me, I never slept with him. Which was just one reason he apparently went out with me. 
After high school I studied performing arts and by the age of 24 I had my debut film. I'm turning 25 this year and currently shooting a sequel. I could say life has been good to me. 




I got a notification from  IG, it was James. He had tagged me in a post. 
It was the both of us on set in bed together. Now why would he post such a picture, knowing well how the fans and the public will react. 
I quickly called him asking that he delete the picture which he did. 

I sent him a DM as well. 
Not to be rude but could you refrain from posting such pictures, given the repercussions that follow. 





After two weeks at home, I was rejuvenated and ready to go back to showbiz, seems like there are some scenes that need reshooting. 




And yes Beyonce was on my mind. How dare she ignore me like that, for months even. I was nursing a bruised heart. Don't ask how's that possible. I scar easily.