11. Help Me Out

                                    

                                          
"I don't mean to bother you but there's something that I want from you. Distract me from thinking too much, loose ends all tied up with a touch. I need some temporary saving. I need some uncomplicating."
I could kill them...but then they wouldn't be able to touch me the way they did last night.
Obviously I did not stay in Steve's room. I quickly put my shorts back on and did a walk of shame back to my room. 
My first walk of shame ever because this is the first time I've ever felt any kind of shame or embarrassment after hooking up. I always made sure I knew exactly what was expected out of the experience. But this...I have no idea what just happened, why it happened or what's going to happen next.
And on top of that I'm worried about Steve and Bucky being out on a mission. For their safety, even though they assured me it was just a stake out mission, but also about what they're going to discuss while alone together. Obviously they have to talk about what happened, and my mind is spiraling with what they could possibly be saying.
Did they enjoy it? They looked like they enjoyed it. Was that all they wanted? Do they want more? Maybe Steve felt uncomfortable and is telling Bucky he can't do it. 
I mean, I guess it's better he realized that now when we only did something small. I would have felt bad if we did more and ended up regretting it. 
All this over thinking and worrying doesn't let me sleep and the last time-check that I remember is at 3am. So by the time I open my eyes again, I know I haven't slept more than 4 hours. 
The sound of my phone going off catches my attention. I fumble over to grab it just as another text alert goes off. I look at the screen and see two messages from Bucky:
Made it back from 
the mission.
Wanna go get some breakfast 
with Steve and I? 
The usual place, 20 minutes?
...is...is he serious?
After what happened he just opens with "Wanna go get some breakfast?". Doesn't he think there's maybe something else he needs to say? Something else we should talk about first? Who does he think he is? He thinks I'm just going to drop everything and go for–
Ok.
Cali, you coward.
I'm only justifying this by telling myself that the conversation we need to have should probably be done in person. Although in public wouldn't be my first option. 
I take a quick shower and spend too much time on my hair and makeup considering I'm just going to see people that I see everyday. But suddenly I want to impress them. 
Already not a good sign. 
I'm running late as I rush over to grab one of the spare cars and head over to the nearby diner. By the time I get there the guys are already sitting at our corner booth, drinks already on the table.
"Hey, you made it." Steve says with a cute smile. "I hope it's okay we already ordered your usual." Both of them have innocent looks on their faces, as if we didn't do what we did last night.     
"That's...fine." I say, a little confused over this.
As if right on cue the waitress brings our food over and the guys happily start to dig into it. Saying nothing, making no type of attempt to even jump into the conversation we desperately need to have. They're just eating, while I stare at them with a completely dumbfounded look on my face.