11.

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TONY STARK| GENIUS| BILLIONARE| IRON MAN|

I sat on the couch, in the lounge, working through a stack of crosswords when I heard a song being played, and someone singing to it. So, me being me, I went to investigate.

I found the person playing/ singing it: Bucky.

"War, huh, yeah

What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, uhh
War, huh, yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, y'all
War, huh (good God)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to me, ohWar, I despise
'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives
War means tears to thousands of mother's eyes
When their sons go off to fight
And lose their livesI said, war, huh (good God, y'all)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, just say it again
War (whoa), huh (oh Lord)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to meIt ain't nothing but a heart-breaker
(War) Friend only to The Undertaker
Oh, war it's an enemy to all mankind
The thought of war blows my mind
War has caused unrest
Within the younger generation
Induction then destruction
Who wants to die? OhWar, huh (good God y'all)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it, say it, say it
War (uh-huh), huh (yeah, huh)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to meIt ain't nothing but a heart-breaker
(War) It's got one friend that's The Undertaker
Oh, war, has shattered many a young man's dreams
Made him disabled, bitter and mean
Life is much too short and precious
To spend fighting wars each day
War can't give life
It can only take it away, ohWar, huh (good God y'all)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, say it againWar (whoa), huh (oh Lord)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to meIt ain't nothing but a heart breaker
(War) Friend only to The Undertaker, woo
Peace, love and understanding, tell me
Is there no place for them today?
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But Lord knows there's got to be a better way, ohWar, huh (God y'all)
What is it good for? You tell me (nothing)
Say it, say it, say it, say itWar (good God), huh (now, huh)
What is it good for?
Stand up and shout it (nothing)" 

(The song's name is War and it's by Barrett Strong / Norman Whitfield, I think? If my information is wrong please tell me. I got the song from google, and it said the songwriters were the above mentioned people and it's title is war.) 

He didn't seem to notice I was at the door, but that was because he had his back to the door, sitting on the bed, curled up. He looked...depressed.

"Is that what....the second world war was like?" I blurted out.

"Hmm, yeah, a little, a lot of the same things...this song isn't from back then thought...i think." 

"So, any reason why you look all depressed?" I asked.

"Let's see, today is the day I supposedly 'died', in the train mission. I'm berating myself for not dying." He said not looking up.

"That's...not a good thing. You should see the positive side: You're still alive. You have Steve. And you've...the team?"

At that he started laughing, but I don't think it was a, like, amused laugh or happy laugh. The way you laugh to stop yourselves from crying: "I'm alive, and over three dozen people are dead, I ain't alive, Tony. I took other people's lives, I stole their lives. I've Steve, that's true...but Steve is busy. And for another he's different. More idiotic? Nah, he can't get any more idiotic. Don't know what changed. He keeps giving me looks of pity. And to your third statement: that's not even a statement, it was a question. And the answer is that they are either scared I will go Winter Soldier mode or, they think that I'm unstable. I'm SEMI-unstable, not Fully-unstable." Then his eyes widened as if he noticed what all he had said, "Uh, sorry. Didn't wanna say those thing, sorry." he muttered, as he got up.

"Woah, woah. You are depressed. I get it, some, I want to punch someone or throw them out of the window," I said, sitting down on the side of the bed, Bucky kept his eyes on my hand, as if, making sure I don't punch him or something. "Or on other days, I just want to curl up against someone and forget I exist." 

"True," he muttered, still staring at my hand. Creepy.

"So, I'm guessing it's the latter?" I ask, looking around the room. Pretty plain.

"Huh?" 

"I'm guessing it the I-wanna-curl-up-and-forget-I-exist one."

He didn't answer, just kept on staring on my hands. Okay, it's getting creepy.

"Oo-kay, why the hell are you staring at my hand like a creep?"

"Sorry," he muttered, still staring.

I snapped my finger, infront of his face. He didn't even blink.

"What?" He asked, still staring.

"What's with the staring?"

"Don't know what you're talking about." 

"Stop staring or else I will hug you." I threaten.

"You wouldn't dare." he growled, looking up from my hand and now staring at my face.

"Oh, I would." I smirked.

"I will stab you,"

"Try to,"

He did. He threw a knife at me, but it missed me by a centimeter. I don't think that was a mistake. 

He blinked, as if just understood what he had done, "Sorry."

"You need sleep. When Nat doesn't sleep for long enough, she starts throwing things too." I stated, flatly.

"I ain't Natasha." he stated, just as flatly.

"Well, you still need rest."

"First: I already got rest, I was out for five hours. Second: You're a hypocrite. You don't get enough rest yourselves, so don't you dare talk to me about it."

"You need sleep. Passing out isn't, I repeat, isn't, sleep. And, if you sleep, I will sleep. How 'bout that?"

"I ain't a idiot. I know won't sleep, so f*uck off."

"Well, I get nightmares. So, you ain't talking." I growl, without thinking. I waited for him to start laughing, but he didn't even look my way. Phew, he didn't hear.

"So, that's the reason. Same for me. I don't want to sleep because, I end up waking up, in an hour. I don't wanna watch all the things I did, what they did to me." he said very quietly.

I blink. I had never thought of that. Him having PTSD, I mean.

"Get some sleep." I said at last, before leaving. 

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