Changbin arrives just about when Dohyun is down for a nap and Haneul has taken the girls out to the market. Not that she was too happy about that though, considering the original plan was for Minho to take the girls there, while she would stay home in case the baby wakes up. But with Minho being Minho, she knew the plans had most definitely changed, the moment Changbin came walking right through the front door with his stupid spare key that she never wanted him to have in the first place. But then again, he would not have said key for too long anymore anyway.
But Haneul is not one to complain. Not when she is the perfect little wife, listening to her man and doing whatever it is that he wants her to do. Minho is not an asshole who takes advantage of that though. So at least that could have been a lot harder in the end, had the opposite been the case.
So with the two friends now all alone in the house, sitting in the living room with all the doors open to hear Dohyun if he cries, Minho finally feels like he can breathe again. No matter how annoying it is that there is no magic device that allows him to hear his baby crying when he is in another room, even with the doors closed. No matter how Changbin is just staring at him with such great concern, as if he is both worried something is up with Minho because he just knows him that well and also like he fears he might be at fault for it. How is this still less suffocating than being around his wife as of late?
"I'm sorry.", Changbin says. Voice totally unlike him, small, insecure, as if he is scared of Minho pushing him way more than anything else. Which he might actually be, considering he only really has him anyway. His parents had died years ago and Minho remembers helping him through that time, even having him stay at his own home with his family because he wanted his friend to be alright. Haneul hated the idea then, but behaved like her usual good wife self regardless. She is a good wife after all. "I'm so, so sorry, okay? Just please, whatever part of everything went wrong, I'm so sorry for taking you there... just please, Minho, please don't avoid me like this."
Minho seems surprised upon seeing his best friend so distraught. Guilt creeps up in him instantly and he shakes his head, takes a seat next to Changbin and immediately turns towards him with an expression he hopes is not too scary to him.
"No, please, I'm sorry for avoiding you since. It's just... it's been..."
"Is it because they were all male?", Changbin asks when Minho just uselessly trails of, the man desperate to know what exactly Minho's trigger point was. But after only a few seconds of thinking, because he had already been thinking all weekend about it, Minho shakes his head once again. "Then what is it? Because I've been working myself up over all this ever since. Do you have a problem with men being into men?"
Another pause, followed by a head shake.
"I think we both know that I tend to not judge others for their rather... unconventional interests. As long as they don't harm anyone, people should be allowed to pursue their own interests. Even if our society is not too keen on it being a thing in the first place.", Minho says, "But I will not lie and say it didn't put me off, especially at first, to suddenly see two such young men, dressed so inappropriately, dancing in front of a crowd of what looked like a bunch of disgusting men to me. Not particularly because the dancers were male, but because it disgusts me to see adult males, probably taken in some sort of way even, seemingly getting off on those erotic dancers like there is no issue with that at all. I am a man, Changbin. I most definitely know what most of the men in the audience must have been thinking about when seeing them, objectifying them. Had the dancers been female, it would have bothered me too. But with them being male, I was just severely overwhelmed in addition to everything else."
Changbin visibly deflates at that, looking so relieved that Minho feels like he did rather well in explaining himself. He decided in his thinking slump over the past few days that the male dancers were not the issue. But all the men having certain thoughts about them, objectifying them, cheering for them to do what should not be done in front of others like that, just for their own entertainment. Though Minho does not think he is any better than them either, when a young boy called Jisung is all he has been thinking about. Like he got infected by some deadly virus, constantly having to stop his mind from wandering.
YOU ARE READING
lilacs
FanfictionTwo men, two totally different lifetimes. They should not want each other the way they do. But when they unexpectedly find love in someone so perfect for them, they both know there is no escape anymore. * [M]