The rain slams down on both Kai and I as it once again becomes the only thing that breaks the silence between us. "What do you want me to say? I forgive you? For me to grovel at your feet and say that it's fine?" He questions, cutting the silence.
"What? No. That's not what I want." I shake my head.
"Then why did you push me away?" He questions.
"I... I was scared. I didn't want to drive you away because you found out I was Spider-Woman." I answer with a low tone.
"I wouldn't have cared if I knew." He says.
"I should've known that. I'm sorry Kai." I apologise. "I wanted you to be safe... I didn't want to constantly worry about losing you." I tell him.
"I would've been fine. I have powers now." He responds, finally turning around to face me. "Sure, I'm not as experienced as you but I'm not fragile. I can protect myself. God, I feel like a character in a romance anime." He scoffs.
"I know, okay? I know. I just didn't want to risk losing you. I wanted you to be safe." I respond.
"I feel like we're going in circles. Even now, you're hiding something. At a time where it's ideal that you should be fully transparent." He says. "All I wanted throughout our friendship was to make you happy. Did I not do that?"
"You did. You made me so happy. You've made me smile more times in the span of us being friends than my entire life." I reply, stepping towards him. "I hated every moment I wasn't friends with you. I kept convincing myself that it was worth but now I realise that it wasn't. I'm sorry Kai."
"You're still hiding something from me. I can't believe you." He responds, his voice quivering for a second. I couldn't tell because of the rain but I could've sworn I saw a tear drop from his eye.
"What do you want me to say? I don't have anything left." I question, looking at him with a saddened expression.
"What do you want with me?" He asks again.
"We've gone over this." I tell him.
"No, you're telling me what you wanted, not what you want right now." He shakes his head with a disheartened look.
Kai and I both release a breath as we look at each other momentary silence filling the space between us before I break it. "I want you to be happy." I inform him, looking down towards the ground.
"What?" He questions with a stunned tone.
"I pushed you away because I didn't want you to be in danger if anything happened. I want you to be happy and by pushing you away I thought you would've been happier because you wouldn't be in danger. As it turns out, it doesn't really matter now but what I want is for you to be happy. And if it was without me then it was a choice I was fine with making." I tell him.
"I was happier with you." He says.
"I shouldn't have done what I did." I shake my head, both of us looking into each other's eyes.
Heat rushes to my cheeks, warming them from the coldness of the rain. Kai's eyes piercing directly into me. Even after all of the months that I've been friends with him, I can still see the softness that they once held when he looked at me. It was calming, like you were floating in a pool of water like a starfish staring at the sky. The gold flecks shone through the rainy and dimmed atmosphere. A silence takes over us both, Kai's expression changing into one of thoughtfulness for a few seconds. "Do you... Like me?" He questions with an unsure tone.
My eyes widen in surprise, the heat on my cheeks rising. Do I like him? Does he mean as a friend or romantically? I mean like him both romantically and as a friend. "As a friend?" I question, scanning his eyes.