CHAPTER 9: Beauty and Madness (Part 2)

                                    

                                          
🚨Short note from the Author & Trigger Warning 🚨: There's a suicide attempt in this chapter, please skip if you think this will trigger you negatively. For more info about PTSD, please read online about the topic. Please know that MENTAL HEALTH is very important and SEEK help if you find yourself thinking of self harm. Stay strong. ❤️‍🩹🫂

💔"But sometimes you look at me like you wish I wasn't there.Like you wish I'd just disappear. And it just hurts so bad.I know I'm not easy to love ... but could you try anyway." 💔
                                  - Nicole [Crazy/Beautiful Movie 2001]
❤️‍🩹"I want to take you away from 
everything that makes you crazy." ❤️‍🩹.                        
- Carlos [Crazy/Beautiful Movie 2001]

YOK 
With a hastily muttered apology to Kit telling him I had an emergency, I scrambled to my motorcycle while cursing loudly. What the hell is going on?!
Thanking that Bangkok streets are pretty much empty this late at night. 1am, the time on my phone when I glanced about 5 minutes ago before I left Kit's apartment. It took me another 5 to arrive at the sprawling mansion. 
Pressing the doorbell over and over until a pajama-clad Victor opened the door, with a hastily muttered apology I hurriedly sprinted towards Ray's room. Surprised by my urgency, Victor had run following me. Leaving the door open as I shouted Ray's name. The bed was empty, the couch vacant. He wasn't here. 
The bathroom lights were on, so I scrambled there and when I opened it, Ray was already submerged in the water. "Fuck! Ray!" I screamed and immediately pulled out Ray. Promptly noticing the freezing temperature of the water. Victor had also sprang to action, taking a dry towel from the cabinet and handing them to me as I tried to dry Ray off- who had turned blue  and was sputtering water and gasping for air when I pulled him out of the cold tub. 
Slowly peeling off the wet clothes from his body and wrapping him in new dry towels handed by Victor, who was wide eyed and deeply worried. Finally he handed me a thick robe and I dressed Ray with it before I carried him to bed. He almost felt like a wilted vegetable in my arms, too pliant and weak. If I was any more late, Ray would have made good on his threat. 
"Victor, can you please make Ray a hot tea? He was probably in the cold water for too long," I requested courteously despite the obvious tremor in both my voice and hands. 
As I felt his footsteps fade, I finally looked at Ray, whose half lidded eyes are directed at me. Blank and lost. Only an endless darkness in them.
"You really came," he whispered, as if it was so bewildering that I would believe his threat and care enough to come and stop him. 
"Of course I will come! You fucking told me you would off yourself! What the hell is wrong with you Ray! And did you have to start drowning yourself not even 15 mins after you called me? Did you think I had powers and could get here in an instant? Couldn't you wait!? Don't you have faith in me that I would come for you!" My voice is loud and trembling with emotions. 
Wanting  to shake this boy so badly, until all this madness fell off from his beautiful body and the desire to keep yelling until he actually understands just how wrong it is to harm himself is so strong,  but I know he would probably forget everything tomorrow, he's too drunk and too out of it to absorb, to listen. 
"It hurt, it hurt so bad I just want it to go away," tears spilled from his eyes and I wiped it. My heart clenched painfully at the sight of this fragile beautiful boy, so broken, sad and mad.