Everything will be ok

                                    

                                          
"What are you doing for Christmas?" Derek and I are sitting together in the cafeteria. I would usually sit in Shawn's classroom but he is tutoring today. "I'm going to Canada for Christmas." He hums. "Right, because you and Mr. Mendes family are friends, right?" I nod. "That's crazy how out of all the schools Mr. Mendes works here and out of all the schools you come here." I smile. "Yeah, my parents wanted me here because he works here. It's an easy way for them to have someone keep an eye on me." He scoffs. "Well, he didn't do a good job at it." I tilt my head. "Think about it. You've been bullied, abused and raped and he didn't say anything or do anything." I blush. "That's because I told him not to or else I will kill myself." He stays quiet for a moment, I can tell he was debating whether to ask me the question or not. "Were you serious?" I nod. "I didn't want him involved in my problems it will just make things worse." He laughs. "How?" My tray of food is pushed on the floor. "You made us lose our star football player all because you were too much of a bitch to just take it." Derek gets up pissed. "Back off Drake, non of this is her fault. Jackson was an asshole! Always have been. Something like this was bound to happen." Drake sneers and walks off with his team. "Here you can have my lunch I'm not that hungry." He push his tray towards me. "It's ok." I eat the lunch he gives me. "Thank you." He nods. 
After lunch Derek and I went to our math class and of course he sits next to me. He's became protective over ever since the incident. "Want to go out for some hot coco after school?" "I actually have practice with Mr. Mendes for the winter prep rally he's actually taking me home today as well." He nods. "Ok, maybe next time then." I nod. 
I sit in Shawn's car his hand on my thigh. "How was school for you? I heard what happened in the cafeteria." I hum not wanting to talk about it. "It's nothing that I'm not used to. I'm fine." He pats my thigh and squeezes it. "I know what he said to you in the cafeteria. What he said was not ok. I should have been there." I smile. "It's ok, Derek defended me, he even gave me his lunch. He wanted to take me out for hot coco but I told him that had practice and that you were taking me home." His face scrunches up and a high pitch noise escape his lips. "I lied about practice. I wanted to have a movie night with you." I giggle. "Why didn't you just ask?" He shrugs. "Because, you need an excuse just in case, it worked didn't it?" I shake my head laughing. "I love seeing you laugh and smile." I blush. "I know you said you weren't ready for sex, I want to try something new with us until that day comes." I tilt my head curious of what he wants to do. "I will make you a bath and we move forward with that." I nod still confused yet curious.
I sit in the tub relaxed full of bubbles surrounding me. Shawn walks in shirtless and in basketball shorts. "How is the bath?" I look at his abs then look away. "The bath is nice. What is it that you wanted to try?"  He sit on the rim of the tub and stick his hand in the water. "Do you trust me?" His hand rest on my thigh and I nod. "You can stop me if you get uncomfortable." His hand in he's up closer to my vagina. He slowly push a finger inside me and I jolt a bit. "It's ok just relax for me." I grab his arm shaking. "Shawn." I cry. "Stop, stop!" He pulls away. "Sorry, I'm sorry. I thought... I thought if we experimented little by little you will feel... I don't know, it was stupid." He drys his hand off. "I will get our movie night set up. I left your pajamas on the bed whenever you're ready to get out. Fuck!" He leaves the bathroom. I soak in the tub some more his fingers felt nice but...the flashes, I can't stop thinking about what happened to me. Would if I do it to myself? Would that help? I slide my hand between my legs, I rub the surface of my entrance with my two fingers and I push in wincing a bit. I relax myself and continue pumping, it feels nice, it's not Shawn's fingers but it will do. I close my eyes moaning, I guess I don't freak out when I do it to myself. I wonder why? I moan his name a few times and I feel myself getting close. I unravel from the pleasure. "Had fun?" My eyes shot open and I look at Shawn, he has his arms crossed leaning against the sink. "I'm sorry." I look away. "No don't apologize, I enjoyed the show, too bad I can't make you feel even more better." I blush even more. "I think I know why you panic when I touch you sometimes." I get out the tub and dry myself off. "How so?" I feel him wrap his arms around me. He use his right hand to fondle my right boob, I whimper as he kiss up my neck. "Shawn." He hums pulling me closer. "You..." kiss. "Don't..." kiss. "Trust me as a man." I pull away from him and turn to face him. "I do trust you." He shakes his head. "You don't trust me as a man, a male." I cover my body with my hands feeling self conscious. "What are you doing?" I tear up. "Storm, Storm come here." I walk back into his arms and cry. "It's ok I got you, I got you." This is humiliating.