Fifty-One

                                    

                                          
*Lily's p.o.v* 
I was 10 weeks along in my pregnancy and the sickness hasn't gotten any better. Every morning without fail, I was throwing up and then I would be bound to the couch or the bed. I would be too sick to move and then in the evenings, the sickness would come in waves. 
The bar had opened back up and I was yet to work. I could barely stand up for 5 minutes without needing to throw up. Travis banned me from working until I was at least better. 
It was hard because I had the girls messaging, asking where I was. It was still too early to announce anything so I was staying lowkey and just saying that I was taking a break while i prep for my masters in psychology. 
Speaking of which, I got accepted to the university that I was at in the beginning of the year. I got accepted to a few more but I went with Harvard but online path a as the course wouldn't start until I was over 20 weeks along. I would still be studying at the time of the birth and having a newborn. The only way I could make it work is if it was online so I could hopefully juggle things. I don't know. I'm willing to put it on hold if i need to. 
I really wasn't coping very well so far. Between the sickness, I didn't have the energy to leave the penthouse. I had pregnancy bloat so I looked and felt gross. 
Travis was really busy at the bar and he was trying his best to be with me but in reality there wasn't anything he could do. I loved my cuddles, that made me feel comforted. 
But the reality was that he couldn't sit there and cuddle me all day. I knew that even though my hormones disagreed. I was a bit snappy recently which I didn't mean to be but I felt like I generally couldn't control my emotions. 
It was currently 9pm on a Saturday and i made some veggie soup. I needed something with a lot of broth in hopes that it would be light on my stomach and still fill me up. 
And so far it was helping when I was just taking small spoonfuls of it and not having too much. 
"Is that helping your tummy baby?" Travis asked rubbing my shoulders from behind. 
"Yeah so far so good" I said weakly 
"Good" 
"I really want to go to bed though" 
"Try and finish what you can and we'll go to bed" 
I managed to get a cup of soup down. It didn't come back up which was so good and it made me feel alot better. We climbed into bed together and I passed out almost immediately. 
**
When I hit the 12 week mark, I thought for sure that I would be feeling better but I was wrong. Overall the sickness was coming in waves and I was so exhausted all the time. 
I had a small bump. It was cute and made me feel like all of this was going to be so worth it. I noticed that Travis had been more attentive about this pregnancy once I started to show and he was often placing his hand over my belly, it was comforting and I loved it. 
We were at the safe mark to start announcing the pregnancy but honestly? I loved having this between us. While I was still unwell, I didn't want to have a big celebration and have to answer phone calls from Travis's family and go through the whole thing over and over again. 
And Travis was happy to keep it quiet, I think he as well didn't want to answer all the phone calls but he was the type to just not answer calls. 
I was currently laying in bed. I had found that recently, I had only been able to stay awake or active for just over two hours and then I would need to lay down or nap. 
Travis was lying opposite me. 
"I think we are having a boy" I said 
"Yeah?" Travis asked 
"Yep. I just have a feeling" 
"I really don't mind. Either way. Still my child" 
"Same. Hey Trav?" 
"Yes baby?" 
"I've been thinking about something" 
"Mmhm?"
"Maybe we could get married like soon. Just the two of us so my last name will be Caine on the birth certificate and then we could have a proper wedding later down the track?" 
Travis touched my hip gently and I felt myself get a bit embarrassed. Maybe he hated that idea. Ugh I always do shit like this. 
"That makes sense baby but why don't we just have a proper wedding now?" 
"I mean we can but it's hard to find a wedding dress when I'm constantly growing in size and I'm just too unwell to plan anything. I want it to be perfect and done right" 
"Okay. That's fine baby, whatever makes you happy" 
"So will you marry me early? You don't have to, I just think it will make things easier" I said 
"Sure baby" 
"You don't sound so convinced" I sighed 
"It's fine baby, I'm happy to do it" 
"I want to have the same last name as our baby on the birth certificate" 
"I seriously don't mind. As long as you're my wife, that's all that I care about, no matter how we do it" 
"Okay. Thank you" 
"It's all good. I'll arrange something gorgeous" 
Travis kissed me and I snuggled into his chest.
"When can I come back and work?" I asked 
"I don't know baby. I think when you're feeling better and we have at least told the girls so they can look out for you" 
"Okay" 
"Besides you're not suppose to carry heavy things, how are you going to carry a tray full of beer?" 
"I don't know. Get Jess to do it. I want to work babe. I'm lonely and sad here when you're not here, I'm hormonal and 
"I know baby. Maybe in a couple of weeks, when you feel better okay?" 
"Okay boss" I pouted 
Travis kissed the top of my head and I closed my eyes, just taking in this moment between us. I was rubbing my little bump and thinking about how far we have come as a couple. 
From the time we met, to the arguments to my trauma. We have come so far and now into a place where we are starting a family.
Of course things are moving quicker than one anticipated but we were truely in such a good spot for this to have happened.
Travis always told me in my lowest moments when it came to my family that one day we would create a family of our own. A family that would never leave each other and stay bonded with love and happiness 
And so that's what I will always hold onto. No matter what, we were a family. Travis is the love of my life and will be my forever until the day i die.