CHAPTER 34

                                    

                                          
NANDINI
I didn't wear black. There would be enough black today. Enough sadness. Mom also had a burial. And the only thing I remember from her funeral was this, black. I hated black. Mom also hated black. Said that it was so dull and drab. She believed that everyone needed some color in their lives.
Raj Uncle wouldn't have liked all the black either. He was a man who looked for the bright side of life and he liked to laugh. I chose a lavender color dress. When one time I had visited him, I was wearing this color top and he said that I looked good in lavender.
Mama, Mami, Abhi and I, we all drove together to the graveside ceremony. Manik told that Uncle wanted that there should be plants grown on his grave. He wanted a burial so that there would be a spot where people could feel him the closest. And he wanted plants there, so that there would be life on his grave. Not just the plain tombstone.
We parked along the street like everyone else and then made our way to the large white tent where people were starting to gather. I searched for Manik until our eyes met. He was standing by Neyonika aunty, watching me walk towards them. Today would be the day when it would finally become real for him. Seeing his father being lowered in the ground will hit Manik hard. And I would be there if he needed me.
As I came near them, Neyonika Aunty gave me a teary smile. I just hugged her tight. No words would help right now. 
We broke the hug and she patted my head. Till then Mami, Mama and Abhi also came. They all hugged Aunty and Manik. I was going to go with them to where the others were present waiting for the ceremony to start, when Manik held my hand. "Please stay by my side."
I stood beside him, holding his hand tightly. "I'm here."
"I like your dress."
"Uncle said that I looked good in this color."
A sad smile reached his lips. "Yeah, I remember."
Others arrived to give condolences to Manik and Aunty. Through it all, he never let go of my hand. When the ceremony started, Aunty sank in the chair placed behind her and started sobbing.
I could feel Manik tremble beside me when it was time for him to lay the rose on Uncle's casket. I eased my hand out of his and waited as he walked forward and put the rose down. "You'll always be my superhero," he said, loud enough that I could hear him, as he stared at the casket.
When he turned and walked back to me, I could see the tense expression on his face, the way his jaw was clenched tight, his eyes hardened. He was holding back the emotion I knew was strangling him while trying to stay strong for his mother.
His hand was back in mine, the moment he was beside me.
I didn't hear much that was said after that. I was too focused on Manik and the rigid way he was standing, like he was a stone. His grip on my hand was like he was holding on to me for fear that I'd run off.
As the casket began to lower into the grave, Manik inhaled sharply, and Aunty stood up and grabbed on to his arm, leaning into him. He wrapped his arm around her and held her against him.
Slowly, people began to leave. Some people came by and patted Manik on the back and said something to his mother, but it was all very quiet. All his friends and Abhi had walked up and stood behind him when the ceremony started. Each one squeezed his shoulder and said things like, "I'm here if you need me," and "You need me, you call that very second . Yeah?" and "Love you bro."
Manik nodded and acknowledged all of them. Each one of them had also stopped and hugged Aunty, which only made her cry more. Once they were done, they all walked away slowly. I didn't know what Manik wanted me to do, but I knew that Mama Mami were waiting on me.