"Suffer through what?" Jamie's deep but tired voice suddenly said from behind us, startling us both and almost scaring the crap out of me. When I looked at him, he was looking at me with a sad but hopeful look, big dark circles under his eyes. There was no trace of his usual beautiful smile. That was the moment I realized that I broke him. I broke my sunshine. I broke my savior and I completely destroyed his cheerful attitude. My eyes filled with tears as I stared at him until I couldn't anymore.
That time, it wasn't because of Lily. That time it was guilt. I felt guilty for breaking him. I missed his cheerful attitude, his grins and smirks, his laughter and all his teasing. I missed him. I quickly ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind myself. I just couldn't look at him. It was way too much and I only made it worse.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JAMIE
"I fucked it up, didn't I? She wanted to deal with it alone and I just had to stick my nose where it didn't belong." Jamie said to Cora, running a hand through his hair nervously.
"No, this is not your fault. It was never your fault. She was dealing with some new and complicated emotions and she still hasn't quite figured out what to do with them but I think this is a bit different. I think one look at you made her realize that she's not the only one hurt here. I think she also realized what she's been missing this whole time. That look on her face when she ran off? That was regret and guilt." Cora said and Jamie turned to her with confusion all over his face.
"What would she regret?" Jamie asked Cora, unable to understand what she meant.
"Pushing you away. Avoiding you. This was probably the moment she realized that it's been killing you just as much as it has been killing her." Cora explained as Jamie just stared at her for a while, processing everything.
"I'll go get her. You get ready or Jess will literally kill you. Don't worry, she'll talk to you. Just give her a little more time." Cora smiled, clapping Jamie on his shoulder before she disappeared towards the direction I ran off to, leaving Jamie with no choice then to just go and let them finish his hair and make-up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ME
A few minutes later, the bathroom door flew open and Cora walked in with a worried look on her face.
"Callista, what happened?" she asked me as she approached me slowly.
"I couldn't look at him. That look on his face. Cora, I broke him. I broke my sunshine. I broke my angel. I broke my goofball. I've killed his cheerful side. His look...It was full of sadness and despair. I broke him." I said and Cora immediately hugged me, trying to calm me down so I wouldn't have another panic attack.
"You didn't break him. He's just sad because he has no idea what's been happening and he's confused. He doesn't know what to do to help you and that's killing him. Sam told me he had a panic attack earlier today. Just like you. I think it's time for you two to talk." Cora said with a hopeful smile on her face.
"I don't know Cora. I don't want to talk to him about it today and ruin the meet-and-greet even more. It's been ruined enough anyway. We need to stay focused on the fans and if I talked to him now, his mind would be all over the place and so would be mine." I said and Cora gave me a sympathetic smile with a nod.
"Then you have to talk to him tomorrow. It's your last chance before I drag your ass to him and tell him myself. And trust me, I'd tell him all the details." Cora said, threatening me and even though I knew she probably wouldn't do it, I agreed nonetheless.