9.𝑬𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄

                                    

                                          
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Tears were streaking down to my cheeks, as he finished his sentence. It hit me to the core of my heart! 
"When I needed her, she needed Atlas." It was a simple sentence but after all the things I heard it wasn't just a sentence but a mixture of emotions crashing my soul. 
I felt a little guilty for not understanding his situation and going all bonkers on him. I looked at his, those eyes they looked etheral. 
"Did you ever read the letter?" 
He said answering my previous question. 
I had the letter, I used to read it everyday until dad found it out!
He tore the letter in half but I glued it back and never let him know that I still have it. It was his love! I can't see his love being destroyed like that! But it had destroyed. 
He was still looking at me waiting for my response. I snapped out of the thoughts and answered him: "Yes." 
He smiled at me gently as I said 'yes'. The butterflies erupted in my stomach like a volcano which all of a sudden started erupting after years, as I knew he meant me! 
It was me who was his first love! I don't know but I felt over the moon to know that, I felt my body sparking at the thought I was his first love.
"Me" I said. He blushed at the word! Oh my gawdddd!!! He blushed! Fucking Ryle blushed! Wait, even I was blushing! 
God what am I doing? I am so stupid. Why am I blushing like a monkey's ass. I shouldn't react like this! But, I couldn't help it. 
"Ryle." 
I spoke. 
"Hmm?" 
(Author's note: This is again dialogue format)
Lavender: "Why did you tell me all about your past?" 
Ryle: "Because I trusted you." 
He trusted me. I was feeling unsure but, I think I should tell him about myself too!  
He fucking trusted me and told me everything. Even, you should tell him!
Lavender: "Childhood trauma is big Ryle!" 
Ryle: "It can't be forgotten! But, why do you say?" 
He looked at me with confusion and worry in his eyes, I knew he was genuine just by looking at him.
Lavender: "You wanted to know right what was my trauma?" 
Ryle: "Yes. Tell me. "
Lavender: "Weapons were my father's favourite! Among them his most favourite was fire, he really liked to play with fire! My father used to hit me whenever he felt like. He abused till I turned 18. I was scared to meet people. I stayed inside always! You know why? Because they asked me who did this? How did this happen? Wait did you attempt suicide? They asked so many questions which I was not capable of answering! What would I answer them? Oh yes, this burnt mark is given by my father. And this cut also by my father!"
I was holding in my tears so hard that my eyes started hurting.  I glanced at Ryle to see him stunned, his body rigid and knuckles white.
Lavender: "He also hit my mother after getting drunked. My mother wanted to leave but she couldn't! She took the punches and would never tell anything, she had no money to leave the house and live on her own..."
I can't cry. I can't.
I needed to finish speaking but,I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, I broke down as the memories, traumas all came back. It felt like I was 10 years old, unable to breathe, uncontrollable tears and anger a lot of rage. The tears poured down , as I felt a difficulty in breathing when he pulled me towards him and placed his lips hard on mine.
My eyes flew open at his sudden reaction, he closed his one hand around waist and another hand gripping my hair bringing me closer to him. A jolt of electric current passed in my body. My nipples grew hard like diamond enough to cut a glass. I kept one hand on his shoulder and the other was tracing it's way on his hair. We kissed with dominance, anger, love, hate, grief which made it etheral. I opened my mouth to give him the access inside.
Our tongues collided, I could taste red wine as he reached my lower lip and started sucking it. "Mmmm..." A moan left my mouth as he kept sucking on my lips. I could smell his cologne! That same smell! God he was driving me crazy still now! All those memories and trauma disappeared from my mind as soon as he kissed me. He was rock hard as I felt his erection as it touched my stomach. He realised it and then slowly pulled away from my lips and looked at me.
He was breathing heavily, a sparkle was in his eyes. God! Why does he have to be so sexy! Okay! Wait! Where was I? Discussing about trauma and now thinking about him! What the fuck? But, he is so sexy and that erection! I want to get fucked by him so hard! He will definitely fuck good as he kissed this good!
No wonder, why all the girls of our school would simp on him. He did do this sexual staff good. 
I was staring at his lips, when he looked away. God, was he now feeling shy? Did he not enjoy it? 
"I am sorry." 
He said.
Why was he telling sorry? This man has a obsession of telling sorry whenever he touches me. 
"Why are you telling sorry?"
I am now starting my enquiring session.