Ethan:
I stared at her beauty, as she lay in the hospital bed.
Breathing steadily.
Why?
Why does she cut herself?
She may have really messed up this time...
What if she hurt the baby?
I felt a tear hit my cheek.
How bad did she hurt herself?
Its killing me... When will she wake up? I need to know that she is okay.
Naomi rested her hand on my thigh.
She started speaking but I didn't listen.
I just stared at Camilla.
"Hey, baby... Do you think I could have a moment alone with Cami?"
"Uh... Yeah."
Lola ran in.
"Hey Grayson's on the way."
She went back out of the door with Naomi.
I walked over to the hospital bed and sat on the edge.
I held her hand in mine.
"Cami... It got bad this time... You could be hurt... You're unconscious... The doctor says the baby is okay... But we don't know if you are... And if you aren't... Grayson will just... Will just... He'll just fall apart. And me? I mean I have Naomi, but like I told you before, Cami, I've always, always, wanted you. Since the day Cameron brought you to my house and we made eye contact. Camilla you are so beautiful it would hurt to see you leave this earth... Please, Cami, pl-"
"IS SHE OKAY?!" Grayson interrupted.
"W-"
"Move!" He said as he sat on the bed.
How can he do that?
She means as much to me as she does to him.
It's gonna be a long morning if I have to deal with him.
I won't even be able to talk to her.
I watched him cry as he ran his fingers through her hair.
I just walked out. I couldn't watch it. I wanted to he him... But she's not mine... And she won't be. Ever.
------------
Grayson:
I just stared at her with sorrow.
Why wasn't I there?
Why did I let her push me away?
If I had been there, this wouldn't have happened.
I wouldn't let it.
But she promised me last time...
She promised me that she wouldn't. do. it. again.
I realized my tears were hitting her wrist.
I gently picked it up.
I looked at the scars... The ones that were clearing up...
And the ones from today.
She was so close to six months.
She could have made it a year!
Grayson why weren't you there?!
You're worthless...
"No you're not." I heard a voice say.
It was Cami.
"Cami... Y-You're awake! This is amazing!"
She placed her hand on my cheek.
"You're not worthless baby... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"I'm sorry I-" I felt someone tapping my leg so I stopped.
I looked down and there was this beautiful little girl. She had her arms stretched out. I picked her up.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, and whispered into my ear, "I love you daddy."
I woke up.
Cami was in my arms.
We were in the hospital bed.
"You... You're not okay." I felt my body stutter as I started to sob.
I got up and sat on the couch across from the bed.
I held my head in my hands and sobbed.
Its my fault.
ITS ALL MY FAULT!
I heard Cami saying "No its not."
She shook my shoulders from behind.
Stop hallucinating Grayson.
"Grayson." A voice kept calling as someone shook my shoulders. I held my head up and saw that it was Lola who was shaking my shoulders.
"What? Huh?" I said, snapping out of the hallucination.
"C'mon, Veronica and Cami's mom just got here, let's give them some time."
"Oh... Okay." We stepped into the hallway.
I saw her mom sobbing.
I walked over to her and looked into her eyes.
"She will be fine. She is so strong and brave, she will make it..." I gave her a weak smile.
She gave me a tight hug.
"I love you Grayson." She sobbed quietly into my ear.
"I love you too." I whispered back.
She let go and walked into her room.
Me, Lola, Naomi, and Ethan walked toward the cafeteria.
I started sobbing again. I wanted to give Cami's mom hope. But these people? They felt the same as I did.... No need in hiding it.
"What do you want to eat?" Lola asked me while we were standing in line.
"Nothing."
"C'mon Grayson, you have to eat something, its all gonna be o-"
"NO LOLA EVERYTHING IS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY! OKAY SHE COULD DIE! AND IF SHE DIES..." I sobbed harder "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER! I DONT WANT TO LOSE THE GIRL I AM SUPPOSED TO MARRY! I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY CHILD! I DONT WANT YOU PEOPLE SAYING ITS GONNA BE OKAY BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW IF ITS GONNA BE OKAY! I LOVE HER SO MUCH... I'M SO LUCKY TO LOVE HER!! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS GONNA BE LIKE IF I LOSE HER! MY LIFE WILL HE A LIVING HELL IF I DO. IF SHE GOES... I'M GOING TOO. SO DONT TELL ME EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE O-"
"GRAYSON CALM DOW-!" Ethan tried to calm me down.
"NO!" I punched him in the face "YOU CALM DOWN!"
"Okay!" Naomi shouted.
"Grayson that was uncalled for!" Lola scolded.
Ethan lunged at me and punched me in the right temple.
Shit it hurt like hell.
I lunged for him and wrapped my arms around him, next thing I know we're shuffling across the cafeteria floor throwing punches.
"STOP! DAMMIT STOP!" Lola yelled.
"COME ON JUST KNOCK IT OFF!" Naomi joined in.
I saw Ethan's face starting to bruise.
I stopped immediately.
"I... Uh... I gotta go. Sorry man... Its just, my emo-" I tried to apologize.
"I get it just go man." He said accepting the apology.
I started walking to the door.
Lola slapped my arm.
"Grayson what the fuck is wrong with you."
"I don't know man I.." I said with rears streaming down my face.
"Yes you do! You know that wasn-"
I grabbed her by her arm, "Look you tell Cami that I'll be back." I whispered through my teeth.
She had a scared expression on her face.
She pushed her hair out of her face.
"Yeah... Okay, I will." She whispered back.
I let go of her arm and walked to the exit.
"Ethan are you o-" Naomi began.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Ethan cut her off.
------------
Ethan:
I squeezed my eyes tightly trying to block out the light. It made my head hurt terribly and everything was blurry.
I'm so confused.
Grayson and I have never seriously fought before.
I mean, yes we've seriously argued before, and we've roughhoused a little bit.
But this time, his eyes were filled with anguish.
He could have seriously hurt me and I could have done the same to him.
God I just hate it when him and I fight like that.
He fought me with the same demeanor he fought Malachi with that night.
Sometimes I feel like we're just drifting farther apart.
-------------
Grayson:
I drove to the house.
When I got in, it was dark.
I turned on the lamp and plopped on the couch.
I took the engagement ring out of my pocket and twirled it around in my hands.
A tear started to roll down my cheek.
"I... I could lose her... We'd never get married. We'd never have children. We'd need have a future and its all because I LET HER PUSH ME AWAY!" I yelled to myself as I jumped to my feet.
I jogged walked slowly, drowning in my tears.
As I walked up the steps I mumbled to myself.
"God Grayson you're useless."
"You may never see her again and you could have stopped it."
"Why even live?"
I said sobbing harder.
"No she needs you."
"No, I'm useless I'll never matter."
"Think about the baby Grayson."
I started pulling my hair as I argued with myself.
I started pacing back and forth down the hallway continuing the argument.
"Like you'll actually matter."
"Grayson she'll be a wreck if you commit suicide.".
"But if I'm dead before the baby gets here, the baby will never have to know, and that way wed have no emotional attachment, that's why I should do it now...
I walked into our bedroom and started scrambling through the drawers.
"GRAYSON NO!" the voices warned.
I kept scrambling.
"DO IT YOU ARE WORTHLESS YOU CANT HELP HER NOW SO WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN LATER?!"
"ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU WEREN'T HERE!!"
the voices argued continuously.
Finally I found an old prescription of my Zoloft (antidepressants) . I quickly popped the cap off and poured like eight into my hand.
I looked at myself in the mirror.
I laughed at myself.
What a fool to think Cami'd ever need me.
Slowly I dropped the pills into my mouth.
Tears were still pouring down my face.
"It'll be over soon buddy." I whispered to myself.
And then I heard the front door slam shut...
I thought I was alone...
----------
Cameron:
I got messages from Grayson crashing at my place and then I got messages from Ethan about Camilla being in the hospital. And Lola told me about how Grayson and Ethan fought and Gray left the hospital.
I knew Gray wasn't handling it well.
I didn't know here he'd be so I drove to his house... The door was unlocked. I saw the upstairs lights on. I slammed the door shut and jogged upstairs.
"GRAYSON?! GRAYSON?!!" I started crying when I wasn't getting a response.
I got to the top of the stairs and saw junk scattered all over the floor.
"Shit... Shit... Shit! No!! GRAYSON!!" I yelled and then bursted into his room.
He was sitting on the bed crying.
He had a green ooze dripping from the corner of his mouth.
I ran over to him.
"GRAYSON! Are you okay?" I said as I licked my thumb and wiped the ooze from the corner of his mouth.
"Yep. I'm already halfway gone." He said with a smile.
I pulled his chin down and saw tiny white pulls surrounded by green ooze.
I got a tish and put it on his mouth.
"SPIT IT OUT GRAYSON! NOW! SPIT THE PILLS OUT GRAYSON!!" he did as I was told. I threw away the tissue.
I ran into the bathroom and got a cup of water.
I made him gargle it and spit it out.
Then I sat down beside him and placed my hand on his thigh.
He laid his head on my shoulder.
"Great..." He sobbed. "Now... How am I supposed to die?!" He cried. He fell over into my lap and sobbed.
I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead as I rocked him back and forth.
"Grayson its gonna be okay..." I shushed him.
"I just wanna die!" He cried out.
I cried at the sight of him like this.
He's never been like this.
He definitely can't be trusted alone now...
Heyyy guys sorry I haven't updated in so long.
Also sorry for the typos. I'll try to update tomorrow. Tyasm for the 3.27K reads. Ilyasm ♥ have an amazing day :)
