Hongjoong has been working tirelessly for the last month on their comeback. Wanting it to be perfect. But what he didn't consider was sleepless night effects. And sadly, it hit him hard.
"Kim Hongjoong focus," the instructor shouts over the music. But they don't stop. No matter what, even when Hongjoong feels his legs giving out, he keeps going. Not wanting to disappoint his members. Hours go by fast, and the leader doesn't realize that it's time to go back.
"I'm going to the studio," he said. He took his bag and left the room without another glance at the others.
"Wait, hyung," San called out after him. "Wait, you forgot your phone," he said.
"Thanks," Hongjoong smiled.
×
Maddox walked down the hall to the bathroom when he heard a scream from Hongjoong's studio. Alarmed, he quickly went back, knocking on the door repeatedly. There was no response, and he got more worried.
"Hongjoong, it's me," he said. Knocking again. Then he heard sobs. "I'm coming," he rushed. Inside, Hongjoong was sitting on the couch, papers everywhere, and the leader curled up on the couch. Legs pulled up and scratched the neck as if scraping off the skin.
"Hey, don't do that," Maddox says. He holds Hongjoong's arms and crouch down in front of him. "You're ok," he whispered.
Hongjoong shakes his head rapidly. Sobs getting louder by the second. The older hushed his babbled words. Now sitting next to him and hugging the younger. İt's not until Hongjoong calmed down, sniffling, let his hyung wipe his tears.
"Im ok," he whispered. Desperately trying to not be vulnerable but failed miserably.
"Tell me what's wrong," Maddox says. Rubbing his back for extra comfort. Hongjoong take a few deep breathes.
"I can't do this i just can't do this anymore," he sighed. Hands instinctively scratching his neck again. He stop when his hyung hold his hands.
"What is it that you can't do?" Maddox asked.
"Lyrcs. I can't write lyrcs i can't do anything i can't find beats I'm useless-," Hongjoong ramble but is stopped by the older.
"You can. You can do anything so good. One time don't mean you have no talent. Look where you are right now, with your members, your fans, you can do it," Maddox says softly. Hand still rubbing his back. Hongjoong nod.
"You need rest. Come, i will take you back," he said. Patting Hongjoong's shoulder.
×
The next morning, Hongjoong woke up with a headache. As if his head is being squeezed. One more problem was that his senses were extra, lights and sounds too loud, too bright to the eye. He sat up and rubs his face.
"Hongjoong- good you're up," Seonghwa said. Leaving the room right after to make breakfast.
Hongjoong sigh, maybe he shouldn't go to practice today. But he can't miss a day of practice, everything has to be perfect. He got up and slowly put on comfortable sweats and a shirt, his skin feeling sensitive today for some reason.
"Hyung we're going," Yeosang says. Waiting at the door for Hongjoong to put ok his socks. The older nods. Taking his bag and follow Yeosang to the entrance.
"Here, since you didn't eat," Seonghwa said. Handing the younger the protein shake he made. Hongjoong hum. Quickly putting on his shoes and leave the dorm with the others.
Hongjoong sit in the backseat as the others fill in. Chatting about what they will do today or what they want to eat.
"Yeosang-ah let's go to the chicken place you like," Wooyoung beamed right then.
"Hyung are you ok?" Wooyoung asked. Now talking quietly as he noticed his hyung rubbing his temple. Hongjoong, in an attempt to soothe the pain, take a long sip from the protein shake. Now noticing how dry his throat felt.
"It's okay, just a headache," Hongjoong said.
The rest of the ride is quiet, Wooyoung occasionally glance at his hyung to make sure he is not bothering him.
It definitely don't get better when they entered the studio either. The lights too strong and make Hongjoong's headache bothering. They all get in position after stretching and soon fully focused on the routine. Today, well, is not Hongjoong's day. With short breaks and intense focus. At some point, he feels as if his leg are giving out on him.
"Can we get a break?" He asked. Panting and rub his eyes.
"No, hyung. We can't," Yunho says. Ready to play the song again.
"But-," Hongjoong begin.
"No buts. Today we practice I'm sorry," Yunho said. Playing the music.
Hongjoong stay on his feet, with little energy, until the next five minute break. A sigh of relief escape his lips when he finally get to sit down. Without a second thought, he down the water bottle. The headache worse than morning. He squint his eyes when Yunho stand in front of him. Blocking the lights.
"Breaks over," he says. As soon as he leave Hongjoong slowly get up. Legs shaky and black dots swimming in his vision.
"You've got this," he muttered to himself.
Somehow he end up falling in the first step. He tries to stand up again but he can't. So he sit there, exposed to the glares of the others.
"Hongjoong come on," Seonghwa said. Taking youngers hand and pull him up, Hongjoong lean on Seonghwa. Trying to find his balance. Luckily, the older hold him still until Hongjoong is stable on his two feet. He get to release his hold on Seonghwa's arm when a wave of diziness hit him.
İn a moment of thinking, he crouch down and bury his face in his hands. Tears escaping without any permission. The voices of Seonghwa and other members asking probably if he is ok overwhelming him more. Suddenly he feel warmth around him. He try to take deep breathes among the panic in his body, realizing that Seonghwa is hugging him. Rubbing his back in soothing circles.
"I'm ok," he whispered. His ears unclog right then. He feel Seonghwa wipe his tears and hold his face up. Rubbing his cheek.
"It's ok, you're ok," the older said gently. "We don't need to practice ok? We will go home and you will rest," he continued.
Hongjoong nodded. He gets up yo his feet with the help of San and Seonghwa. He insist on walking himself but end up being carried by Jongho. The younger teasing him to ease the atmosphere.
The ride back to the dorm is mostly quiet. Seonghwa holding Hongjoong close until they arrive. İn the warmth of their dorm, Seonghwa feed Hongjoong. Later tuck the younger in bed.
"Now sleep, rest is important," he says. Kissing Hongjoong's forehead and leave the room. Closing the light as he go back to the others.
Maybe it wasn't that bad to be tucked in bed, Hongjoong thought. Everyone have bad days.
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I tried to make it like u said hope u like it.
