Forty-One.

                                    

                                          
Maya
The days blurred together and being on desk duty wasn't helping. All I could do was try to resist my mind from wandering in between the mountains of paperwork and station check ins. Only being able to run drills and not go to scenes was killing me. I missed the adrenaline!
Desk duty made me wonder why I ever wanted to be promoted because I missed the knitty gritty. The getting dirty of it all. I missed jumping out of burning buildings and propelling from collapsed roofs. Nothing I'd ever admit to Carina, but I missed the adrenaline. The FIREGASMS!
After three weeks I was finally able to run a little without feeling like the air was too hard on my arm and the first time Carina would not lecture me about it when I tried. To her it didn't matter that fracture was getting in the way of my training. Although I had to admit it felt nice to get scolded by my wife again. Small signs that things were getting a little better. 
At least that's how it seemed.
Carina had gone back to work and seemed to be adjusting okay, especially after Gabriella's longer than expected stay. I thought at one point she was going to move in which made me regret even calling her.
But when you're faced with the threat that your wife might relapse or turn to alcohol for a replacement, there aren't very many things you wouldn't try to make sure that doesn't happen. So I made the call to the person Carina's told me has helped her through the rough patches, ignoring the pain it caused to know it wasn't me. 
It's what I could do as her wife. Then I could just hope she'd take my hand to get through the rest of it.
My post run shower took a little while longer, I was trying to figure out the logistics for Carina's birthday. I had a plan and I wanted it to be special. Something that would hopefully distract us from the pain for at least a little while and get us looking forward to things again. That's what I hoped the surprises would do.
That's what my mind was worried about when I got out of the shower and found Carina standing in her underwear. Then my mind went blank as she looked into the mirror holding two shirts down at her sides. She turned sideways and sighed, but my mouth went dry at the view of her exposed skin. "You can't even tell."
Words were hard to form because I hadn't seen Carina in so little in weeks and here she was in all her defined glory. The vision turned all the thoughts in my mind into white noise. She turned to look at me and I was staring at her perfect plump breasts under white lace. "I'm sorry baby, you asked me a question?" 
"Nothing I just said... never mind." She looked down at her shirt and I briefly recalled the words which made my mind turn to a different gear. Carina had just started making headway when her birthday had seemingly put a damper on her progress.  
Biologically, I could see why, but looking at Carina you would have no clue. Though with everything piling on, the biological clock just reminded her of the last few months and the awkward place we found ourselves.
I shook my head out and walked over to my wife and turned her by her hips away from the mirror she kept glancing at so instead we could face each other.
"Hey," I kept my hands still not wanting to cause an unwanted reaction. Her soft brown eyes came to settle on mine,  "Just because you can't see a wound doesn't mean it isn't there and trying to heal. It's just a different kind of scar because it's tattooed inside."
Carina looked down her body and wiggled her leg a little in thought before looking up at me through her lashes, a small smile pulled her mouth and before I could take in what changed, she leaned in and lifted my face with her nose so she could kiss me softly. Her lips were like pillows between mine, but the kiss was brief. Carina pulled away before I could bring her in again, "Thank you."