18

                                    

                                          



When you fall in love, you can experience unexpected changes. The things you thought you would never do, you started doing unconsciously. 

It's truly astonishing how love has the power to transform people. It unlocks hidden depths within us and pushes us to explore new territories of our being. Love can break down barriers and dissolve our once-resolute convictions. It's a beautiful journey of self-discovery, where we surprise ourselves by embracing aspects of life we never thought we would. 

Love has the potential to change us in ways we couldn't have imagined. 




---

I took the train back to Berlin. I reached the city at 9 PM. Before I arrived at my apartment, an unexpected phone call interrupted me.
It was Benjamin.

Anxiety swirled in my stomach. I didn't want to talk with him. I pretended not to hear the call and continued on my way home.

Once I reached the lobby of my condo, my heart raced as if my instincts were forewarning me of impending danger.
Upon reaching my floor, I discovered Benjamin waiting outside my door.
"Where have you been, Ryann?" he asked, as if he already knew I had been absent since the previous day and sought confirmation from me.
Summoning all the courage I could muster, I answered Benjamin, "I was out of town, visiting a friend. Why are you suddenly here, Benjamin?"

"Never knew you have a friend here. Who's that friend?" he pressed. I had a feeling he knew something.

I felt my heart race, but I fought to maintain a calm facade.  "It's someone I met during the Paris Olympics," I responded casually.

He brushed off my answer and suggested, "How about we grab a late dinner outside?"
"You go ahead, I think I'll take some rest. It's been a long day," I responded, my exhaustion seeping into my words.

His face turned towards me, and he asked, "Didn't you miss me at all?"
I just looked at him. My face was screaming a questionable look.

He let out a sigh. "When will you ever return my love?" he asked.
"If I do, I have already married you. I told you, I'm only doing this for Marco," I told him.

I never imagined I would blurt out this words directly to him. I continued to stare at him, my heart racing and my mind filled with conflicting emotions. How did things get to this point? How did I end up agreeing to marry someone I didn't even love?
I couldn't bear the thought of being married to someone else other than Ran.
"You've been more straightforward to me now. Has Berlin changed you?" he asked.

I shrugged off his remarks and I said, "I have to take a rest now. I'll be going home tomorrow."

"You never told me you'd come back to the Philippines?" he asked.


"There's no need. I'm going back home for my family so we could spend the new year together. I don't plan on seeing you either," I said.

He looked irked at my remarks. "Ryann, why are you suddenly being like that?"


"It's my true nature, Benj. You can't change it, and you have to accept this if you plan to marry me," I said, my voice full of conviction.


"So, everything you showed before is just a facade? Why? For money?" he replied.

I shot him a look of disgust. "Yes, for money. You've gotten my 'yes' for the money. What else would you want?" I declared.

I didn't know where I got this sudden surge of courage.
Summoning all the courage I had left, I took a deep breath and continued, "Benjamin, I'm sorry for agreeing to marry you without truly considering my feelings. I can't go through with this."
Benjamin's eyes narrowed, and a disturbing smile played on his lips. "You really did went to see that Ran?" he asked.
I could feel the tension as Benjamin's question hung in the air. I felt goosebumps all over my body. I swallowed hard, my throat dry with imminent fear. How did Benjamin know about Ran? Was he spying on me? I had to be careful with every word I said.


"Yes, I did meet with Ran," I replied cautiously, trying to gauge his reaction. His smile widened. I could see the evil glint in his eyes, and my heart raced with a mix of fear and anger.

"So, you've been sneaking around behind my back," Benjamin said, his voice full of menace. "Did you truly believe you could just leave, Ryann? Did you think you could escape from me?" he smirked.

His accusations made my head spin. I never intended to deceive Benjamin, but I couldn't deny my emotions. I had to collect my thoughts and find a way to extract myself from this dark trap I had unknowingly fallen into.

There was a long silence as I tried to find the right words to defend myself. Finally, with unwavering determination, I spoke up, "Benj, I understand if my actions have angered and hurt you, but staying in this marriage would have been unfair to both of us. I cannot marry you."

Benjamin's face twisted with rage, and he lunged towards me, tightly gripping my arm. It was painful, but I didn't show any signs of weakness. 

"Why? Because you're in love with that guy? You're making a terrible mistake, my dear," he growled. "What makes him better than me? I have everything, Ryann," he continued.

Fear and anger surged through my veins. I couldn't allow him to intimidate me any longer. With all the strength I had left, I broke free from his grasp and stood tall. "I don't want to be controlled by you, Benjamin," I declared, my voice firm and resolute.

The room grew tense, and for a brief moment, I thought he might strike me. But then, unexpectedly, Benjamin burst into laughter. It was a chilling sound that sent shivers down my spine. 

"Oh, my dear Ryann, you have no idea what you've just done. I gave you everything, Ryann. I loved you, I took care of you, and this is how you repay me?" he said, his voice filled with menace. "We'll go back to the Philippines now. Do betray me again and your beloved will suffer the consequences," he declared.