To ease this burden, I made the tough decision to sell the townhouse I had bought when Papa was still alive and moved to a smaller condo. It made sense since Marco and I were the only ones living there anyway. And to my surprise, mother asked to live with me, offering valuable support during these difficult times.
But things took a turn for the worse and I found myself in a really tough spot. No matter how hard I tried, my brother's situation raised concerns about security and privacy, which led me to quit my job. This had a big impact on my finances.
In the midst of all this chaos, Benjamin Lim, an alumnus of Marco's fraternity, reached out to me. He had been helping my family with the financial burdens of Marco's case, and little did I know, he had harbored romantic intentions. Stuck in a mess of debts and obligations, I felt powerless to reject him, so I reluctantly agreed to marry him, all for the sake of keeping Marco safe while trying to get him parole. 
Through his help, I was able to secure employment in his company, which allowed me to eventually get back on track. 
Although Benjamin initially planned for us to get married in December of 2027, I decided to postpone it because I want to pursue my own dreams first. This way, I can also prolong our engagement, which I didn't really want in the first place.
Benjamin agreed to my request and even offered to support my master's degree financially. He allowed me two years to study abroad. However, I declined his financial help, and I made it clear that I wanted to achieve this goal on my own. Given the options between the United States and Germany, I decided to choose Germany because it's closer to Italy, where Ran played during club season. Even though I had closed that chapter of my life, I couldn't help but hold onto a little hope that I could see him again.
And in January 2027, I flew to Germany pretending to start a new job, knowing my mother wouldn't let me go if she knew the whole truth.



It's pretty funny how life always manages to come back to me. I always thought I had built myself to be as strong as a rock and nothing could bring me down. But, look at me now. I feel so sorry for myself. I guess I should accept the fact that I came from the mud and will always find my way back there.

To be honest, the thought of ending my life crossed my mind. I've been on the verge of losing my sanity and everything has pushed me to the edge of the cliff. Why is life so tough on me? Why do I always have to surrender to the cruel fate that has been bestowed upon me? Why does it have to be this way?


Yet, every time I think of Ran, my will to keep going intensifies. It doesn't matter if he stops loving me, because when he expressed his love to me, it felt like I was the most important thing in the world. He made me feel that way.
It took me a while to realize that Ran became my source of inspiration. He was part of the reason, I started to look forward to everyday. He taught me the true meaning of love. He made me recognize the beauty of life through his unwavering passion for volleyball. 
It was during the early stages of Marco's imprisonment, when I often found myself discussing his case with his lawyer at their office near the National Museum of Natural History. One fine day, out of curiosity, I decided to drop by since I was so intrigued by the grand architecture. I was only able to visit the Fine Arts museum during a field trip.
I wandered inside the museum complex and found myself captivated by the historical artifacts and artworks. In that moment, a fire ignited within me. It was something I never felt before as I restrained myself from dreaming so I could remain focused on my goal of landing a high-paying job.
For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to dream.
I aspired to be a museum curator.



In March of this year, Ran shocked the world of volleyball by announcing his decision to transfer to Poland's PlusLiga for his club season. This news left me in awe, especially that I am currently studying in Germany. Even though it may have seemed like the end of our story, I continued to watch his games, traveling from Berlin to Poland whenever possible.

Seeing him was my respite in the depths of solitude.

Fate intervened on my 28th birthday, which happened to be on December 26 of the same year. I made it a point to watch Ran's final game for the year, considering it as a personal birthday gift. And in the midst of the crowded and noisy arena, it was astonishing that Ran managed to accidentally spot me - like finding a needle in a haystack


It is you, and only you, that I can see.