16

                                    

                                          


"I'm sorry, Ran... I truly am. I'm getting married next year." 
Those were the words that escaped my mouth as Ran insisted on the truth. It was difficult for me to say those words to him, but I had no other choice. I had to distance myself from him, so he could move on and find happiness.
Staying by my side would only bring him sorrow.




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Last year, I decided watch Ran and Ryujin Nippon's matches in Thailand as a way to cool myself down. However, as soon as I returned home, I was immediately confronted with the harsh realities of my own life.
My mother greeted me with warmth and understanding, sensing the heavy burden I carried within. I broke down and poured my heart out to her due to overwhelming emotions, finding solace in her comforting embrace.
Without realizing it, I confided in her about the struggles I had been facing. All the animosity and pain I had held towards her seemed to vanish, replaced by the strength and tenderness of her touch. It was a moment I had longed for, yearning to feel this connection during the years we had been apart.

A mother's touch does heal even the deepest wounds.
"I understand how difficult it has been for you, Ysabel. I deeply regret putting you through so much, my child. Just remember, you can rely on me right now. I will support you, no matter what," she reassured me.
I continued to cry as I released all the pain I had been carrying inside.
"You met with Ran?" she asked, which caught me off guard. I hadn't realized that she knew who Ran was, but I had speculated that since she lived her life in Kyoto, she must have been aware of his identity already.
The mention of Ran caused me to cry even harder. "I...I do not know anymore...I don't want him to be caught in my life's mess,"
My mother lovingly stroked my back like consoling a crying child. In the midst of dealing with our family's issues, she supported me.
"You have feelings for him, don't you? Ysabel, I want you to follow your heart. But I'll leave the decision up to you. Just be true to your feelings. You deserve so much love because you always give your all.  So follow your heart, Ysabel, and it will lead you to a love that is as extraordinary as you are," she said gently.
I hugged her, letting go of the pain I had felt for so long.
That same day, we went to see Marco, who was unjustly arrested and being held in a local jail.
"I'm scared," Marco admitted to me. It was devastating to see my once carefree brother now confined to a jail cell.
"I'll hire a lawyer. I will make you safe. Don't worry, I have your back. So please stay strong, Marco," I assured him. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I held myself together as best as I could.
We talked about his condition while in custody. I love my brother so much and I couldn't calm myself knowing he wasn't comfortable sleeping every night. I drew upon all my strength to be a pillar of support for him, assuring him that we would overcome this difficult time together.
Every day felt like a whirlwind of chaos as I sought legal help to secure my brother's release. I did everything in my power to follow the proper path and adhere to legal means. However, it felt like we were caught in a never-ending cycle of uncertainty, since this justice system is so messed up.
Within one month, I found myself dealing with numerous events piling up, each contributing to the overwhelming burden. To ensure my brother's safety from the threats of inmates, I had to discreetly pay a significant amount of $1,000 every week. Additionally, the expenses for my sister's radiation and chemotherapy treatments added to the financial strain.