Chapter 002.

                                    

                                          
The party went on as I continued drinking, dancing and cracking jokes with the band members minus Jamie. Instead of having fun with us, he got up from his chair, scoffed and shook his head before he left. It seemed like I was the only one that noticed even though I was drunk as a kite.
The guys were fooling around, Jess has left the moment everybody started drinking and Lily was too preoccupied dancing with Roland to notice her boyfriend disappeared. I stumbled in the direction Jamie ran off to, somehow magically getting to the back porch where he was smoking a cigarette, without breaking anything I must add.
"Gimme a drag." I said as I walked over to him, reaching for the cigarette.
"Nuh-uh shortie. It's enough that you're completely wasted. I think you've had enough fun for today." he said with a serious look, raising the hand holding the cigarette high in the air so I couldn't reach it.
"Come on! Give a girl some freedom!" I whined, trying to snatch the cigarette from Jamie's hand. I tried jumping but I failed miserably, almost falling to the floor like an apple from a tree but luckily, Jamie caught me in his arms. For a moment, the time seemed to stop around us as we stared each other in the eyes. Unspoken words and unexpressed feeling danced in our eyes.
"I think you've had enough freedom for the day." Jamie suddenly spoke up, ruining the moment. He steadied me before letting go off my waist, his tone turning cold. What's gotten into him?
"What's up with you today?" I asked him drunkenly, leaning against him so I wouldn't fall again.
"I think I should be the one asking that question. You weren't like this before. Ever since your diagnosis, you haven't been so impulsive and wild. Did something happen?" Jamie asked me, directing the question at me instead of answering the one I asked him.
"No and we're not talking about me right now. I know you're staying sober and all but you always knew how to have fun with us even without alcohol. What's different today?" I asked him and his face scrunched up in disgust as soon as the smell of alcohol hit him.
"You. Also, you need to take a shower. You smell like alcohol. Like a lot of it. Come on." he said, pushing me away but holding me in place so I didn't fall.
"Noo! But the party's still going!" I whined once again as he dragged me inside, guiding me into the guest bathroom, right next to one of the guest rooms that are inside his house.
"Not for you shortie. You're taking a shower and going to sleep." he said as he pushed me inside, starting the shower before helping me take off my jacket and shoes.
"You really want me to undress you?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow. When I thought about it during that moment, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. My mind started spinning and racing. Did he mean it for real? What if I said yes? Would he...do it? Would he join me? What would he actually do? Would he think that I only said it as a joke or that it was only the alcohol talking for me? My head spun with all those thoughts and I couldn't form a response for his question for a while even though the answer should've been obvious. The confusion wasn't making it any easier for me either.
"We do know each other for many years now, don't we? Besides, I'm not getting in there otherwise." I said confidently with a huge grin on my face and he just shook his head as he turned away for a moment. Yeah, now I realise that it wasn't really the best thing for me to say at that moment. I know that now. Anyway, back to it.
My mind started racing again. What was he thinking? Did I just fuck it up? I probably did, didn't I? Fuck, I'm so dumb. I have to blame it on the alcohol tomorrow. I can't admit my feelings to him because it would ruin our friendship. It would ruin us and it would ruin his career the most and I can't do that to him. Those were all the thoughts that started running through my mind. My head was on the verge of blowing up because it was unable to contain so many thoughts at once.