Chapter 28

                                    

                                          

Dean's POV
***Present Day***
"Why the hell didn't you stop? We fucking talked about this!" I demanded sternly, panic and anger beginning to build up inside my chest. 
"I know we did, Dean." Y/N sighed softly from the other end of the phone. "It wasn't my intention to go behind your back or go back on my word."
"Well intentional or not, Y/N...that is exactly what you fucking did!" I yelled, keeping my head on a swivel to watch for any prying eyes or ears. 
"Please....please just try to see this from my point of view." she pleaded, her voice getting a little shaken as she spoke. 
"Dammit, Y/N..." I started, trying to piece together the major ass-chewing I had in store for her.
"I know it's not what you wanted for me...what either of you wanted for me. I wasn't going to continue with it, I really...really wasn't. But I...I couldn't help it. I knew Sam was still out of commission, which meant you were too....I just wanted to do something to fucking help. The more I felt like I was helping, even if it was in a small way....the more I actually began to heal and...make sense of things."
"Even if that's your reasoning...I told you we could talk about it. I told you to get your shit together, come home, and then we could talk about slowly introducing you to it. You could have gotten yourself fucking killed, and then what the hell was I supposed to do??" I scolded.
"Dean, I-" 
"No, listen to me. Because I don't think you understand how fucking serious this is." I cut her off. "I tried to give you your own space to figure this out....because I know how fucking badly this broke you. Believe me, I know. But did you for one fucking second think any of this through??"
"I mean, Jesus, Y/N....I get you went off the rails and you didn't know up from down for a while. I knew you were touch and go. But you are making conscious decisions now. You chose to go back on your word, you chose to keep going after demons, you chose to stay away and you chose to lie to me. Clearly, you're not as incapable of making conscious decisions as you were months ago."
"I....I know..." she breathed softly. "I just....I just wanted to take some weight off your shoulders. I thought I was doing the right thing... I thought if I kept going, I'd prove to Sam that I'm actually capable of doing this."
I sighed frustratedly, pinching the bridge of my nose in my fingertips.
"I know that, sweetheart." I breathed. "I know it's coming from the right place. But you have no fucking idea the enemies you've already made by doing this. We find cases and we help people who are getting hurt as we find them...we don't put out an APB on every demon on the planet and go Guantanamo on them for funsies. If we could...we would. But our family is on a cosmic level right now...and we need to be smart and careful. And unfortunately Y/N...you've been neither of those fucking things."
"I've been covering my tracks. I've done exactly what you taught me to do...and I know how to stay off the radar and clean up after each one now, just like you said. I can do this, Dean. I haven't gotten hurt...and can you just imagine how many hundreds of souls I've saved by doing this??? Doesn't that count for SOMETHING in your eyes?" she argued.