chapter 36

                                    

                                          
A muted chain of pings began to erupt from the suffocated phone beneath Rainbow's pillow, the girl asleep and exhausted from the events of the night before. She had tried not to think about it too much when she got home and went to bed, surrendering to her fatigue and letting her thoughts slip away, a short-term source of peace. But as her phone continued to vibrate under her pillow which had been left there the night before, seeming that she had rolled onto it, she was awoken by the notifications. Curious as to who was texting her so persistently, she opened her eyes and pushed her hand across her mattress to grab the phone somewhere underneath her head, events of last night flowing back to her brain and causing an emotional ache. 
As if sensing her current distress of new information she had found out from Rarity, the messages being spammed across to her were from Applejack. 
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AJ
Hey Dash are you awake?
I wanted to talk to you
There's a lot I need to explain 
Please reply
I'm sorry for anything you may be feeling right now because of me but I promise I can explain
When I woke up at Pinkie's, everyone was there but you
I'm back at the farm now
Can we please talk before the band performs this afternoon?
Me
I'm up. I'll come over.
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A groan escaping her lungs, she flopped onto her back, eyes now open and tiredness averted as memories of AJ at the party haunted her, the way she and Rarity kissed, the way they danced. Rarity's words, 'she thought I was you,' echoing in the back of her mind, increasing in crescendo as pondering whether this was good or bad for her current perception of the girl. She tried to decide whether what she had heard would impact the journey of forgiveness she was on for AJ and if she were to bring this up with Applejack when she saw her. She slumped out of bed and dragged her feet to her bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. Her face was oily from the night before as it remained unwashed and her hair was manged, an elastic holding barely any hair together as it hung at her shoulders. Loosening the elastic and tying up her hair properly to splash her face with water before drying it, the feelings that arose due to her knowing she was to see AJ were betraying her too. Half her brain was excited to see the girl and was trying to figure out what to wear as if it would be an opportunity to impress her and get to see her again, but the other realistic side worried about what uncomfortable topics she'd have to discuss with the girl. Making her way back outside and opening drawers, piled with a variety of t-shirts and shorts, she chose a random combination, black shorts and a cyan blue shirt with Monet's water lilies on them. Fluttershy got it for her for her birthday two years ago and provided a strange support, as if Flutters was with her, the shirt wrapping around her upper bodily comfortably. She lazily found a bag, purposefully ignoring her drawstring bag on the floor and the happenings associated and threw a few essential items in before leaving the house to go to Applejacks. 
When she got to the large plot of land, everything looked the same as it was the last time she was here. The last time was when she felt there was hope between the two of them. She walked up to the front door and knocked, looking at the stone ground and tried to calculate ways to greet those who opened the door. Her brother Big Mac swung it open after short time and looked her up and down, "Hey there Dash, Applejack said you were coming, she's upstairs," he told her, stepping to the side to let her pass. She didn't think he could sense something was wrong but his tone seeming less normal tipped her senses immediately. Making her way through her memorised pathway from the front door to AJ's room that she used to walk all the time when they were dating, she quickly found herself outside the girls door. Raising a hand to knock on the wood standing between them, she rapped the thick panel three times before taking a step back as she could hear the sound of a chair screeching as if the girl was standing up in a hurry. Applejack slowly opened the door to a sorry-looking Rainbow, low effort put into her outfit and hair tied up with a few strands falling down the sides unintentionally. 
"Hey RD..." Applejack greeted in a melancholy tone as she opened the door wider, allowing the visitor to enter her room. With some internalised hatred still within her, Dash walked in and sat on AJ's bed as if it were her room, setting her bag on the floor next to the edge. Rainbow's eyes shifted to look at the bed behind her and then back to the girl as the thoughts of them here together days ago, Applejack ontop of her came flooding back. She whipped her head away from the clear view of the specific location where this took place as if it would be removed from her thoughts and replied after a long pause between the two. 
"Hey..." 
Applejack glanced at the spot next to Dash on the bed as if considering sitting next to her, but decided on pulling up a chair instead, moving the frame that Rainbow must have heard her get up from opposite the girl with a small distance between the two of them. 
"Um...so first of all I-" Applejack tried to begin and break the silence in an urgent attempt to explain herself, worrying brewing as her realisation of how she was the cause of the hurt between her two friends. But Rainbow interrupted her with a quick, somewhat heart-felt inquisition that she hated herself for asking, but she still, unfortunately, cared. 
"How do you feel?" 
"What?"
"You passed out. How do you feel?" She repeated directly. 
"I'm...okay. Fluttershy said you were the one who motivated us all to go home so I guess, thank you for helping me out." Applejack replied, unaware of details Fluttershy skipped over.
"I'm glad you're okay. But I didn't ask to leave because of you. Well...I mean I did, but, not...not because of you passing out." Rainbow threw out, exposing herself as she grew defensive to the possible compliment she could not take credit for. 
Applejack looked at the wooden floorboards beneath them in a form of being ashamed, Rainbow not knowing it but AJ being disappointment in herself for hurting the person she cared about most. "I'm sorry."  
Rainbow let the two words sink in, now meaningless due to their past calamity's she felt AJ needed to apologise repeatedly for that to, now the words having lost its meaning and no forgiveness being present. Dash only had questions that needed to be answered.
"Go on, explain yourself."