PT. 41

                                    

                                          

He twisted and shifted and turned in all the positions and directions he could come up with but nothing helped
They helped for the other days but not today 
Not today 
The only thing roaming in his mind at that point was the card comfortably laying on his night stand, peacefully tormenting his life 
He resisted the dying urge to pick it up and dial the numbers on it 
His fingers were itching 
His body felt like it was burning 
He knew what he wanted 
But he didn't want to give in
Not so soon 
Not just two days after the other handed him the card 
He thought he would seem too desperate for the other 
But wasn't he though?
Wasn't he desperate for the other's hands on him?
It felt like he would burn or suffocate if the other didn't touch him
Since their last night together, it felt like the other had been tormenting him 
From his dreams to his imaginations
Would you believe it if he told you that one day he almost jumped onto his father because he thought he was Namjoon?
Crazy 
Right?
That was how crazy he felt and that was how crazy he needed the other
His fingers crawled to the night stand to pick up the card 
Sike 
He picked up his phone 
The screen lit up and it read 1:40 am
And he still couldn't bring himself to fall into slumber
A slumber where the only person he saw was Kim Namjoon
"Aggh"
Out of agony he groaned while he sat up and harshly pulled the strands of his hair 
The agony and pain and the neediness was too much for him to suppress 
Namjoon did this 
He was the one who raped him in the first place 
Why should he be the one craving for his rapist's hands on him 
Namjoon should be the one dealing with so much pain 
He snapped his head towards his night stand 
Precisely the card on it 
Should he do it?
It was almost two in the morning and he was just calling the other to bang him
That late?
It was Namjoon's fault though
He crashed his head back into the pillow in distress 
I'll just do it tomorrow 
He thought 
Author-nim - Uhh .... you said that like the day before yesterday 
Shut the fuck up 
Author-nim- okay my bad just want-
"SHUT THE FUCK UP"