42

                                    

                                          
Ari
Ethan: Homecoming's lame without you :(
I sit, my legs curled up on the sofa as I stare at the message, unsure of how to reply or if I even want to.
I do regret not going to the dance, but not because of Ethan.
More so because it's my senior year. More so because I know Maya's there with Kevin and whoever else she's become friends with this year. And more so because Abel is there and Ms. Sinclair is like a bloodhound for him, sniffing him out every chance she gets.
I can only imagine she's probably been waiting for opportunity to make another move on him.
Maybe she already has.
The wonder prompts me to leave Ethan's message and open my text thread with Abel, also known as Jack for security purposes.
Me: how's it going :)
I press send, taking a breath. I hate this.
I hate the jealousy that comes along with liking someone. I feel so territorial over him, and fuck if he isn't one of the hottest men alive to top it off.
I just feel like one day he might snap out of it.
This.
Our honeymoon in his little house. I know it can't last forever, nothing ever does. But I wish it could.
I'll do whatever I can to keep it going as long as I can.
Jack: it's actually going well
Jack: wish you could have came
I breathe out a slight sigh of relief. I think it's safe to assume that if he's texting me back, that means he's not with her. Or anyone.
Right?
Me: eh, maybe I'll go to Prom or something
I still hadn't thought about it that much, but maybe he's right. I don't want to miss out on everything my senior year.
The old me would have just let everything pass her by, but after living comfortably for even the short while I have, maybe I should take advantage.
Maybe I should enjoy these little things.
And also be able to keep a closer eye on my teacher if he decides to chaperone that event too.
Knowing Abel, if he's asked he won't turn it down. Even if he wants to.
He's too sweet for his own good.
The phone buzzes in my hands.
Ethan: attachment: 1 image
Ethan: Seriously, you're missing out Ari
I tilt my head at the panoramic image, and then feel my heart start to flutter when my eyes land on a familiar face in the crowd. Abel with a big bright smile, proof that I am worrying too much since he's next to Mr. Cross and not Ms. Sinclair.
I zoom in on him and feel the same grin spread on my own face. I cannot believe the sweetest most handsome man I've ever seen is kind of...my boyfriend.
I mean, we never discussed it—mainly because he never wants to discuss any of this situation—but that's literally who is he to me.
We live together, sleep together, eat together. Do everything together.
I scroll across the photo, still zoomed in but I don't see any sign of Maya. Maybe that's for the best.
I hope she's having fun too.
It's Maya, of course she is.
I go back to Ethan's messages and forward the picture to Abel.
Me: You're so cute :) glad you're having fun
Me: When are you coming home?
Jack: Soon, beautiful
Even though we're not able to go out together in public, or really do anything outside of these four walls, there's nothing I love more than doing nothing with him.
I can't help smiling to myself as I remember Abel's coming home in a few hours. To me.
I can't wait.
Me: bring a pizza, I'll grab the ice cream, and we can stay up late discussing the lame endings of b-horror movies
I stare at the text, and then change my mind, typing quickly.
Me: orrrrrr scratch that. We can watch a marathon of Deadly Women. You choose.
What I love most about Abel is that we have so much in common. We like to do all the same things, we like the same type of movies, shows. I introduce him to new food, he introduces me to literally everything else.
I love learning from him.
Maybe I just love hearing him speak.
Doesn't matter what it is, I'm just—
The phone vibrates multiple times, braking me from my thoughts.
Ethan: Attachment: 3 images
Ethan: We literally have the most chill teachers this year lol
Ethan sent more photos of the dance.
Principal Morgan, Mr. Maxwell, Mrs. Terran, another shot of Abel...
"What the..."
I hop up from the couch, suddenly urged to head to the spare bedroom where Abel keeps all of his records among other random things.
My eyes scan the walls, frantically looking over all the photos I had only seen once before. Months ago the first time we kissed.
The only time I'd ever come in this room.
It's not like it's off limits, but I still don't feel welcome unless invited in. And Abel doesn't invite me in. He rarely comes in here himself, unless it's in and out to retrieve something he needs from his desk.
Makes me wonder.
"Where is it?" I whisper to myself and begin chewing on my lip. There were more photos here. Way more. I see the one's of him and family. His mother, his sister. Gathered in various groups with other men. Friends. His high school and college grad pictures.
It's in your head, Ari.
But is it?
That tip of my tongue feeling that brought me in here to begin with.
I pivot around to leave, to return to my comfy spot on the couch, but the small trash can next to his desk snags my gaze and I don't take another step toward the door.
I feel a little crazy, but I squat down.
Sitting on my knees as I sift through the trash.
I just want to put my mind at ease. To come up empty handed.
But looking at a photo of her, she looks like—
And then I find it.
Polaroids of him and her. The one I remember thinking he looked so happy with the last time I'd been in this room.
My hands begin shaking as I realize. As I put two and two together.
I can barely even hold my phone still as I pinch and zoom in on the face of the woman standing next to him, holding one of the photos on the side.
How did I not realize this before. After seeing her in person that day. I spoke to her, exhausted or not I should have recognized her right away.
Not only is this woman the school nurse, but she's Abel's ex girlfriend.