𝟗| Uncertainties

                                    

                                          






3 years ago- Flashback

The data gathered over the past six years had estimated that the number of deaths caused by the burning had been around 70,000 in the Leaf alone. This meant that 4.1% of the Leaf's population had died due to the burning with the addition of 4% of the rural population surrounding Konoha. 
Due to extensive circumstances, the regions surrounding the Fire Lands' northern borders had been turned into wastelands, wiping out any living organism that hadn't managed to escape. The estimated number was around 2 million, of the remaining Fire Land population that hadn't been killed by the burning, 24% of the overall population had been killed by the Departure alone. This left the remaining 7.9% of people dying due to other causes such as death by natural disaster, disease, violence, migration, starvation and suicide. 
Altogether, the total estimated death toll was around 2,850,000 and the number continued to increase steadily. Konoha had yet to receive word regarding the death toll induced by the Departure and migration, but the numbers weren't nearly as high as the Fire Country's who were at the crux of the attack. 
As each day passed by, it was growing difficult to fight for something that was a lost cause. How could a nation recover after a large portion of its population had been erased in the blink of an eye? 
But even then, Sakura wasn't able to conceptualise those numbers when death had become a constant in her life. The moment she realised she wasn't apart of those figures, it was then she upheld the responsibility of aiding revitalisation even if it meant losing herself in the process. After all, every breath was a reminder that the only reason she was alive today was because Dawn had sacrificed herself for her, for a Village that had turned their backs on her long before she ever did. 
Especially, when she was one of those people. 
Every time Sakura closed her eyes, her mistakes were as apparent as day. She chose to believe the lies fed to her, she chose to create her own assumptions solely because she couldn't fathom change, or the fact that the Village that she had dedicated herself to couldn't have been capable of such thing. The thought was the very reason as to why she couldn't sleep at night or why she spent every living second of her life hating herself more than anyone ever could. 
The hospital was a daunting place to be. Sakura wasn't quite sure if it could be called a hospital anymore, more so, a morgue filled with dead bodies being checked in every single day. She wasn't healing, she was confirming the identities of indistinguishable corpses and paying respect to whoever remained of their bloodline (if they also hadn't been wiped out, that was). 
And yet, somehow, it turned out things were actually looking up. The numbers were nothing in comparison to the hellhole of last year, even though it pained her to degrade human beings into mere figures as if their lives were so insignificant and disposable. Obito had told her they were doing better than last year, that thanks to Dawn's sacrifice and the knowledge she left behind, things were finally looking up and it was all because of her. But that did nothing to placate the restless voices in her mind, the cruel-kind, that recite every self-deprecating thought she ever had like it was a religious scripture. 
It's all your fault. It said. There's a reason why people never check up on you, it's because you're the problem. You're the one who tore everyone apart, you're the one who ruined everything. And Sakura would reply by saying 'I know, I know, I know', hanging onto each utterance like it was her lifeline.