005.

                                    

                                          








' THURS, OCTOBER 27TH, 1994. '
sanai and darnell's residence  ⸻
inglewood, california !






     I WALK BESIDE  Alana, Trinity and my sister Jasmine they're going on talking about whatever it is that interests them whilst I'm on the side following along them holding a lot of thoughts within my head. We decided to go out to the shopping center, well it's more like Alana decided it best that we all went out today and I thought it'd be the best way to let a lot off my mind.
The shopping center is busy, people fill up the stores and the escalators, chatter filling up the live entire building just how the sun glows through the numerous windows. Halloween is around the corner and everywhere is nothing but halloween decorations.
"I need to buy me a new skirt or something." Alana thinks to herself, we all turn to look at her upon her words. We stroll into a clothing shop that Alana decides upon, I hold onto my purse, glancing around me at the different pieces of clothing. "Well Alana, I'm pretty sure you have enough skirts already." Trinity insists with a soft genuine voice, her words make me smile.
"Trin's right."
Our words make Alana frown as she glances at a short beige denim skirt she was moments from putting into her cart. We blink at her uninterested but she caves in, pulling it off the rack and into her basket shamelessly.
We walk inside the store, the two chatting about life and I laugh along at the jokes they crack, even though I don't feel the laughter at all. Trinity's arm links around mine comfortingly and she makes occasional glances at me, noticing that I'm a little off although she doesn't utter a word.
"You just stupid." Jasmine mumbles at Alana's usual stupid story. "Nah, you just thinking wrong." She shrugs with a shameless smile. It's almost as if my dull energy radiates a little to bright, since they both turn to look at me concerned. "Sanai, I understand your going through a hard time but don't let it ruin you." Jasmine insists.
I've been staying over at my sisters place ever since Darnell and I had our altercation, I admit I have been feeling guilty and now I haven't missed home more than ever. Jasmine knows of our situation, but I explained it to her as, "a falling out," instead of the truth.
After the night I spent with Tupac, I haven't told anyone anything. It was a one-time-thing, that hopefully could happen again, but knowing my friends, I don't feel ready to tell them anything yet.
"I'm alright, there's just a lot on my mind." They all begin to feel sad for me, they glance at one another and then back at me with sorrow. Jasmine sighs for a moment her hand resting against a clothing hanger as she turns to look at me, I glance over at her as she begins to speak. "Sanai, I feel like you're hiding a lot with your situation—" I blink over at her. "There's more isn't there, but I don't want to invade your privacy."
My lips part for a short moment as I contemplate whether or not I should reveal what's really going on within my mind.
I give in.
"It's a long story." I mutter through a breath, finding an interest inside my pocket. They both frown and there's a prolonged moment of silence, making me feel as if I really do have to explain myself. "Well I kinda messed up, I got caught up in my feelings and it lead me to do something, I feel like I should regret it but my heart was somewhere else in the moment, but I feel bad—"
Alana smiles awkwardly and Trinity's face drops. "What do you mean," Trinity begins worriedly, I sigh tiredly. "Did you cheat on him?" She asks me.
I don't say anything, remaining quiet and keeping my peace, but that's all it takes before they both glance at each other and Alana breaks into an awkward laughter whilst Trinity  and Jasmine frown trying to reason with me.