Chapter 35 - The truth

                                    

                                          
Brick
Practice sucked. I tear my helmet off and stop myself from slamming it into the locker. Instead, I throw my gloves and take a deep breath.
Filled with trepidation, I reach out a shaky hand for my phone and check it.
Fuck. Nothing. Fucking hell. Fuck me for fucking this up. I never should have looked into those large, beautiful eyes and promised her whatever she wanted.
That moment, much later, when my brain stopped thinking about how much she had enjoyed the food I made her and registered that she had asked to borrow my computer, was the worst second of my life.
All at once, panic and fear filled my body, and I was sure I was going to throw up and piss myself at the same time. Walking to my room took forever.
My hands and legs were shaking when I finally saw her sitting there on my bed. Her eyes large in shock and horror.
And that look on her face... I wanted to explain it away. I wanted to lie and tell her the videos weren't for me. That they weren't the one thing I could do to keep from thinking about her at night when I'm all alone.
But there was nothing I could say. She looked so confused and I could feel my life falling apart around me.
And she still hasn't texted.
"Fuck." I slam the door of the locker and start undressing with jerky movements. It's been two days, and she hasn't texted me.
And I was too much of a coward to go to class yesterday. I should have gone.
But the look on Jessica's face when she found out hurt me to my soul, and I know I won't be able to handle kitten looking at me like that. It's going to tear me limb from limb and shatter my heart.
So, can you blame me for being too scared to go?
I think I hear a phone buzz and jump to check. It's not mine. Someone laughs behind me, but I pay them no mind as I get naked and hit the shower.
All around me, everyone is acting as if it's a normal day. But I can barely breathe.
I get out of the shower and check my phone again. Still nothing.
"It has to be a lovers' spat," Wes says with a grin.
I ignore him and put on my briefs.
"Brick the wall is no longer without emotion," JD says and laughs.
"Fuck off." I pull on my jeans. I know I shouldn't give them any more ammo. They love teasing. But why the fuck should I care?
"What happened?" Liam asks. "Did she find someone else?"
I glare at him, and he gently touches his neck where I had him pinned to the wall.
"He keeps checking his phone," Dustin says. "It's probably a fight."
Jonathan laughs. "Did she find out you like to tie women up?" They all laugh and it's all I can do to keep my facial expression calm.
Before my facade cracks, I grab my things and storm out of the room. I put on my jacket. It's a cloudy day and the threatening rain matches my mood perfectly.
I make it all the way to my car without falling apart, only to remember her sitting next to me and holding my hand in hers.
My phone buzzes. Digging it out of my pocket, I almost drop it to the floor.
It's from her. I quickly close my eyes. Is this it? Is she breaking up with me? I laugh. No, because to break up, you have to be together. We were never a couple.