15

                                    

                                          
J
Holy fuck! I've never had sex like that. Being with Lisa is better than any fantasy I've had—better than any man I've ever been with. It is earth-shattering, soul deep, never-want-it-to-end, amazing.
I relax against her. One of her hands is still wrapped around my hair, while her other is drawing lazy circles over my stomach. She pulls my head to the side and trails kisses along the column of my neck. I squirm out of her hold, gripping my hair to shake her free. It's not that I didn't thoroughly enjoy the way she fucked me, but I want to kiss her and can't do that in my current position.
She lets go and takes a step back, her dick leaving me, causing an instant, empty feeling. I turn and reach for her, but she's a few steps away now, her eyes cast down to the deck below. I walk toward her, but she holds out a hand to stop me.
"What's wrong?" I ask. Something happened that I missed, and it makes me uneasy.
"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Say what now?
"You didn't hurt me. I turned so I could kiss you."
She says nothing, so I approach hesitantly. First, I lay my hand on her arm. She doesn't move. Then I use the other to lift het face to mine. Her eyes close.
"Talk to me," I plead. She shakes her head. My breath hitches as I fight the emotions tumbling through me. I hate seeing her upset. I want to ease all her worries. The gentle wind at my back makes goosebumps break out over my skin. "Lisa, please." A single tear leaves the corner of her eye, causing my own to follow. She's scaring me. Does she regret what we did? "Talk to me."
"I..." I wrap my arms around her, our naked bodies pressed together. I need to feel her against me. She returns my embrace, her strong arms encasing me in a tight hold as she trembles slightly. "I was too rough with you," she continues. "I didn't want to cause you pain." She thinks she hurt me.
"You didn't," I say against her skin. "I loved everything you did. You made me feel so good. Please, don't be upset. You did nothing wrong."
She leans down to bury her face in my hair and neck, her warm breath caressing my skin as she speaks. "I told you I was fucked up. I can't even do this right."
"You were perfect."
She shakes her head and moves us back to the chair, pulling me with her as she sits. I try to look her in the eyes, but she won't let me. She's back in the crook of my neck, hugging me tightly.
"I told you I like pleasure with pain. It's fucked up, Nini. I'm sorry. I was hurting you this time instead of myself."
I lightly rake my nails through her hair. "I loved every moment of it. I wouldn't lie about that. If you were truly hurting me, I would have told you."
"Are you sure I didn't hurt you?" Her voice cracks while she talks. I'm getting angry but not at her. It's at Everett for doing this to her. Fucking asshole. But I rein it in. I don't want Lisa to mistake my anger.
I keep my tone gentle, reassuring. "Positive. Look at me, Lisa."
She pulls back and I see so much hurt in her eyes. Hurt over the possibility of harming me. Hurt at thinking she shouldn't be the way she is. I cup her cheek in my hand and rub my thumb over her skin. "You are everything I want and you gave me so much pleasure. You felt so good inside me. So right. Always be yourself with me. I don't want you any other way. You are perfect to me."
She shakes her head. "No, I'm fucking broken, Nini. I'm a damn mess. I wish I weren't. I want to be what you need, but I don't think I can be."
"You already are."