Chapter 23

                                    

                                          
I broke up with Damen but we were only together for a week. I miss Derek badly. I think he has a girlfriend now and I'm pretty sure it's his ex Caley. I have more important things to focus on, like today we have a show. I didn't put extensions in my hair for this performance because I didn't feel like it. I then as usual now got my makeup done and had my eyes really dark and my lips a dull but bright pink it's hard to understand. I then wore Derek's shirt that I still have but I cut it into a crop top and wore just some black underwear with black converse. it's not weird that I sing in my underwear well it is but I'm just like that. Before I went on stage I checked Derek's Instagram page even though I unfollowed him and it was a picture of him and Caley kissing. I wanted to cry and it made me angry like I wanted to punch something. As we all walked out on stage to sing everyone was screaming and clapping. 
                          
"How are you all?" I asked the crowd. They screamed. 
                          
"So this is a new song called Ex" I said.
                          
"Sometimes I want to punch something but I don't really care no I don't really care about you. You are the fire to my bomb and you know you know. You know I'm better than your new girl and fresher than your ex" I screamed into the microphone as I did the scream song I looked out into the crowd and saw Derek and Caley I then gave them the dirtiest look ever. During the song I got so mad and I screamed in the microphone but it was one of those emo Rock screams that you hold for a long time. Everyone was going crazy and jumping up and down. It was than my guitar solo and as I played I jumped into the crowd and they caught me and threw me around, the security had to get me before I went too far in the back and it was super fun while it lasted. I'm surprised my underwear didn't come off. I then saw a person recording in the front row.
                          
"Hey you. you little fucker give me that" I said to the guy.
                          
He wouldn't give to me.
                          
"Wow such nice security" Amanda screamed in her mic as then the security took the camera.
                          
It was then after the show and I saw Derek coming my way.
                          
"Great" I muttered. I took the bottle of vodka next to me and sipped it while Sage took it so she could have a sip. 
                          
"Someone get me a cigarette" I screamed and kicked the vanity in front of me. I started smoking like a real cigarettes but only when I need to. So I'm not addicted or anything.
                          
Vicky gave me one as I lit it and smoked it. I then put my feet on the Vanity table I was sitting at.
                          
"Hey can we talk?" Derek asked while standing in front of me. I breathed in the cigarette and I stood up while looking him straight in the eye. I then blew the cigarette in his face and walked away from him. As he just breathed in the cigarette since he's an actual smoker. He then followed me.
                          
"Hey!" He yelled while pulling my arm. I turned around and looked at him. He then pulled me into the bathroom and locked it.
                          
"Talk!" I yelled at him. He eyed me up and down.
                          
"That's my shirt" he said.
                          
"Oh do you want it back?" I said sarcastically sad. He rolled his eyes and laughed at my sarcasm. 
                          
"I missed you" he said. While wrapping his hands around my waists and me wrapping my arms around his neck. I gave him one of those really smiles.
                          
He then put me against the door and kissed me as I kissed back.
                          
"The shirt looks better on you." he said.
                          
"Thanks" I said.
                          
"Do you want to do something crazy?" He asked.
                          
"Yeah" I said while looking in his eyes.
                          
"Let's put this down" he said while grabbing the cigarette and takes a smoke from it and then throws it on the floor and steps on it.
                          
"I don't even like it" I said and he laughed.
                          
"I love you" he said to me.
                          
"I love you too" I said.
                          
At Derek's House
                          
We missed each other so much that right when we got in the house I took my top off so now I'm just in my underwear and bra.
                          
"Woah guys wait tell you get upstairs" Dave said while covering his eyes and walking out of the house.
                          
Derek picked me up so my hands are around his neck as his hands grab my butt as I'm carried in front of him. I then take his shirt off as he tried walking up the stairs to his room. I then threw his shirt on one of the stairs. I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his denim guy shorts that are lengthen an inch above his knee it looked hot on him. They were still barely hanging on him though. Then with my feet I took off my converse. he laid me on the bed and took his pants off.
                          
"I'm ready" he said.
                          
"What usually the girl says that" I said while laughing.
                          
"No I'm ready to grow up" he said.
                          
"Are you a sure?" I asked.
                          
"We've been together for about two years now. I want to have my child with you." he said.