Chapter 10 - A chance encounter

                                    

                                          
Brick
Fucking hell, I was stupid. The only thing keeping me from banging my head against the elevator door as I return to my room is the camera in the corner.
I should have known she was a virgin. I should have asked. No, she should have told me. I never would have...
I hurt her. Because I was thoughtless and selfish, she's in pain. Thank god I stopped when I did. Being someone's first is not for me. I don't do that. I gave up on relationships a long time ago.
The elevator doors open and I step into the hallway.
"Hey, Brick," someone slurs and I look up to see Liam and Ethan trying to open a door.
I nod at them.
"Where were you?" Ethan asks. "You didn't come out with us."
"I didn't feel like it."
"So, where have you been?"
I shrug. "Nowhere."
"Come on." Liam waves the card vaguely in the direction of the door and I'm not sure if he's talking to me or the lock.
"But you just got back," Ethan says while swaying. His face erupts in a grin. "Did you hook up with someone?"
"That's none of your business." I grab the card from Liam and open the door for them.
"Ooh," Liam says. "I got it open." He's still holding the phantom card, so I sigh and push them inside. I place the card on the table next to the door.
"See you in the morning," I say as I close the door after me.
Once I'm in my room, I lean back against the door. My eyes drift to the bed.
When she admitted to being a virgin, I wanted to throw up. I still feel sick at the thought of ruining her. She looked so innocent, so adorable.
I shake my head and get undressed. When I saw her in the bar, I could have sworn she looked more experienced.
Dropping my clothes on the floor, I head to the shower. Her touch lingers on my skin. The way her lips looked almost bruised after we kissed sends a thrill to my core.
The water is lukewarm, and I step inside the glass shower. The way she felt under my hands... My cock is rock hard and I abruptly turn the water to cold. I'm not going to jerk off to her. Not to a virgin.
Once the situation has resolved itself with the help of cold water and some decidedly unsexy thoughts, I lean against the wall as water pounds icicles into my skin.
I never wanted any of this. Nobody would want to be a deviant who can't get satisfaction in bed without...
I'd do anything to be happy with vanilla sex. And I've tried. Over and over. I've even gone to therapy, but all the therapist did was tell me to embrace who I was as long as I didn't hurt anyone else. Without consent.
Every once in a while, I've been perfectly satisfied doing vanilla things. It's not like I can't come that way or anything. But it takes more effort, and it's like eating a mediocre chocolate chip cookie while watching someone else moan over a decadent chocolate fudge cake.
Maybe I need to try a different therapist?



I should have gotten her number. Or her socials. Or even her last name.
Adjusting the bag on my shoulder, I ignore the students that glance in my direction as I make my way across campus to my next class.
It was a sad return for us after losing the first game of the season. A lot of disappointed faces all around. But the magic about college is that people have so much going on, they mostly don't care.
The fact that it happened far away is also a help. It makes it feel less real.
I still hate the encouraging comments that some of the more die-hard fans toss my way.
As I walk into the building where my next class is, I realize I'm a bit early. No problem, I always carry a paperback and I have a couple of reading apps on my phone.
I'm just about to pull out the book when I spot some other people waiting outside a different room. One of them is a woman with long, soft curls. All I see is her back. The modest dress she's wearing accents her waist. She's laughing with a man. No, a boy. A lanky looking guy who probably couldn't grow a beard if he tried for a year.
I can't move. My heart is beating fast, and my stomach does this weird lurching thing. It can't be. There is no way she's here. But my body is reacting as if I'm back in that hotel room with her. I take a deep breath.
The guy notices me staring and frowns. He says something to her, and she turns around. Her face pales as soon as she spots me. Then her cheeks go deliciously red and she lowers her eyes. She says something to the man and I can see her take a deep breath as she starts walking towards me.
It's her. She's here. I thought what happened would be a memory I'd learn to live with. Now, she's in front of me. Coming to talk to me.
I clear my throat and put my bag back over my shoulder. Then I force myself to walk toward her.
She looks different. More innocent. If she's wearing make-up, it's natural enough for me not to spot it. Her eyes look even bigger and the blush on her cheeks makes me want to smile.
The red dress is long gone. It's been replaced with a yellow, flowy dress with short sleeves. Overall, she looks perfect. She's elegant and unassuming, but carries herself with such grace that I must look like a walrus next to her.
She is exactly the kind of woman I dream of falling in love with. Except it can never happen. Because the kind of woman that looks like this is not willing to take risks in the bedroom. It makes it so much clearer that I need to stay away from her, because I will hurt her.
"I didn't think I'd see you again," she says and hugs a book to her chest.
"Same," I say.
"I'm glad I did, though. Because I wanted to apologize to you."
"What?" I'm frowning at her. An expression some people say makes me look like I'm about to murder someone. But she doesn't seem to care. "What for?"
"Well, you were right. I shouldn't have tried to trick you. I should have told you I was... a virgin." She looks around as if she's worried someone might hear her. "It wasn't fair to spring it on you like that. I should have told you."
I try to speak, but all that comes out is a grunt. I try again. "I'm sorry I hurt you."
At that she looks up, almost surprised. Our eyes meet, and it's like being sucker-punched in the stomach.
"You didn't. Well, just a little. But I really didn't mind. And it wasn't your fault." She smiles at me and I just stare at her in shock. Her whole face lights up and it's as if there's warmth spreading out around her.
Not thinking about her has been impossible, and now she's beaming in front of me like she's made of sunshine and puppies. I know the body she has under the yellow dress, and I can't do anything about it. Because some people are too pure to defile. And I could never introduce her to the darkness that lives inside me.
So I turn and walk away from her.