My last memories of her

                                    

                                          
Natasha's pov 
*two years later"
We ended up adopting Bella. She's making me happier. I'm pretty sure I haven't smiled that much since the incident with Alanna. Everything she does makes me feel happy. Not only me but also Steve. 
I turn to the left where he's laying. He's already awake. "Good morning beautiful.", he whispers and gives me a strong hug, that makes it hard for me to even want to leave this bed. "Morning old man.", he laughs, so do I. "What time is it?", I ask. He takes his phone, that's laying on his night stand . "10 o'clock." 
"Bella must already be awake." Before getting up, I give him a short peck on his lips, then start walking towards her room. „I'll be making pancakes downstairs!",Steve shouts from the room. I shout back. „Okay!" Bella's room is right next to Alanna's. 
I stop walking for a moment. 
Every time I walk past Alanna's room I have to think about her. I enter it and take a look around. It smells like the first time we entered it. She was so happy about the fact that we would finally live in a bigger home and that her room was going to be so big. I remember us putting up all the decorations in here and all the times I'd stay in her bed for us to have our girls night together. 
Before I start crying again, I leave the room and enter Bella's. There she is, already awake, as usual. 
„Mornin Nat!", she says with her Sweet Little Voice. "I was waiting for you to come!", She admits happily. I smile. "Come on get up, Steve's already making pancakes downstairs.", I say while helping her out of bed. "Yayyy, pancakes! They're my favorite!" 
I have to chuckle as I hear her statement. They were Alanna's favorite breakfast too...
I grab her hand and walk down the stairs by her side.   
"Steveeee", Bella shouts as she runs towards him and hugs him. Steve hugs her back.  
"Perfect timing. I just finished making these." I look at the package of already finished pancakes and laugh. 
I reach them. 
"Amazing.", I give him a peck in his right cheek. "You can't imagine how hungry I am." 
I let go of him and sit down on a chair. Him and Bella copy my move. 
"What are we doing today?", Bella curiously asks taking a bite of her pancake. Steve and I Look at each other. "First we're going to enroll you to a school, because soon you'll be too big for the Kindergarten. Then we're going to visit someone really important to us.", I take a bite of my pancake. 
"Ok!", she just answers. She likes going out. Specially today. She's been looking toward to this day. She can't wait to go to school. She'll like it. Well, till middle school, the most. Afterwards she'll hate us for enrolling her to one. I honestly don't like the idea of her going to school. Even if it's a private one. But we want her to have the most normal childhood she can get. That means sending her to school and letting her socialize with other children.  
I get up. So does Bella. We take our plates and put them into the dishwasher. "Let's Go get ready." 
I take her by her Hand and together we walk up the stairs again, to her room. 
While she starts making her bed, while I start getting her clothes for the day. Blue jeans and a Baby blue hoodie. "Do What you need to do, I'll be back soon. I'll Go get ready and come back to do your hair. Alright?" 
She nods takes her clothes and runs into the bathroom between hers and Alanna's room. I smile at this sight and walk into Steve's and my room. There he's already standing. I walk towards him and immediately hug him. He holds me tight. It almost seems like he doesn't want me to escape from him. But that's alright, because I'm doing the same with him. 
Five years without her. Today it's been five years since Thanos won. 
"Are you okay?", I shake my head. He Cups my Face with his hands. I Look up to Face him. Tears are rolling down my cheeks. The Same is happening with him. "It's okay...", he whispers and goes on to hug me again. 
It's okay.... 
***
We Walk out the school.
 I Like it. It looks great. Bella will be good here. "Do you Like it Bella?", I ask. 
She Looks up, nods and smiles. Then she lets Go of us and Starts Running to the car. She always does that. She Likes to arrive first at the car. It's a weird habit of hers.
 But before she can Even reach it, down she goes. 
Boom. 
That looked hurtful. It also seems to be, because as soon as she turns around I can already see her eyes full of tears threatening to fall. Steve and I run to her. He carries her up to console her. It's not easy though. He Looks at me in despair. I take Bella and put her to the ground, then kneel down to face her. 
"It's okay cutie...", I say wiping a tear on her cheek away with my right thumb. 
"I know that it's hurting a lot, but you know what someone really important once told me? Pain only makes us stronger, alright?"
I Look at her. She nods, soon stopping to cry. 
Pain only makes us stronger. 
***
After Thanos won, we decided to make memorials for Alanna, Clint's children, Wanda and Peter. Steve and I, just like the others, come visit it regularly. And every time the day it happened arrives, we all meet to remember them together. 
Today's the day. We went to pick up new flowers, then arrived there. Tony, Pepper and Morgan have already arrived. Thor has too. 
"Hi guys.", I say. "Auntie Nat!", I hear Morgan shout happily. She runs towards me and hugs me. Then moves on to give Steve a high five and hug Bella. She hugs her back. I look at the other grown ups standing in front of me. We haven't seen each other in a while. Tony just hugs me. I smile and hug him back. "I've missed you.", I whisper. "I can just say the same..." 
We let go of each other. It feels good to be around them again. "How are you feeling?", Tony then proceeds to ask. "As usual.", I answer. "And with them?", he looks at Steve and Bella. "Happier."
He nods and smiles. Both of us start making our way to the others. 
"If you're okay, then I'm happy.", he tells me. I smile. 
***
*later on at home*
"Nat, one question..."
I turn around to face Bella, who's already laying in bed with her pajamas on. 
"What am I to you?", she asks. I sit down on the corner of her bed. 
"Well, you're like a daughter to me...", I admit.Wow... It's the first time I'm saying this out loud...
"So, can I call you mom?", she proceeds to ask. I nod. Bella grins from ear to ear. 
"I have another question.", she then goes on. I once again nod. "Who's Alanna?"
My stomach drops as soon as I hear the question. Suddenly all my memories are there again in my head. Not like I ever forgot about them. I just don't think about them while I'm with others, since they make me feel emotional. 
I remember the time we escaped the red room. 
The time I found out she was my daughter. 
The Time we arrived here. 
But also all the times we used to fight because I was gone all the time. 
And the time she was kidnapped and came back worse than ever. These are my last memories of her. 
"Also our daughter..." 
She confusingly looks at me. "Where is she?" 
My eyes start feeling watery again. This time I can't hold them in. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. "A very bad person made her disappear.", I answer as I get up. I wipe my tears away. „Are you okay mom?"
„Hmm.", I assure her. „Good night baby.", I give her a kiss on her forehead and leave the room. 
 These are my last memories of her.
*****
*half a year later*
Let me go...