Chapter XVI

                                    

                                          
Ricky's POV
I spent the remainder of the summer with Nini, cherishing every moment we shared. Nothing else in the world was more important than she was—the days blurred by, with each second ticking faster than the last. "Time" seemed the only word stuck in my mind lately. With my freshman year at college creeping closer, I held on to every waking moment spent with her. Change was my greatest fear; when I thought things were stable, life had to ruin it all over again. I couldn't muster the courage to confess it to Nini, knowing it might be the last conversation I'd ever have with her before I left. Now, it was just a week before I had to go, and there would be no point in delaying my conversation with her even further. I had to do it.
The drive to Nini's house was filled with fear and overwhelming nerves. I could only contemplate two possible outcomes from this situation, and I found myself leaning towards the latter. Always expect the worst, and then you won't be disappointed, right? I think that's what people say. Either way, it wasn't making me feel any better.  Driving through Nini's neighborhood to her house had become a well-established routine for me, typically accompanied by eagerness and excitement. But now, all I'm feeling is anxiety. 
I think I sat in my car for a solid five minutes, just thinking about what I would say. I mean, how do you tell your girlfriend of just one month that you're suddenly planning to leave her behind as if none of it ever happened? Eventually, I managed to muster up the courage and ascend the stairs to her front porch. Inhaling deeply, I prepared myself before my knuckles met the wooden door.  As the seconds passed, I felt my heart racing faster and faster. Any second, that door would swing open, and I'd have to face my biggest fear. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.
"Ricky?" Nini stood at the door, confused but not at all disappointed at my unexpected arrival. I hadn't even noticed she answered the door, too busy drowning in my overthinking thoughts. 
"N-Nini! Hey," I said, scratching the back of my head.
Just tell her and get it over with. You can do this.  
"Uh, come in!" Nini said, beaming brightly. She stepped out of the way to let me through, my nerves not getting any better. "Do you want anything? Water, snacks? I'm not really a great cook, but I can try!" she giggled, heading over to the kitchen.
I couldn't control my following action because suddenly I blurted, "Can we talk?"
Those three dreaded words. No couple wants to hear those. I mentally slapped myself in the face for saying it out loud when all I wanted was to pretend everything would be okay and that I'd never have to leave Nini. I saw Nini's body stiffen and immediately felt my heart sink to my stomach. 
"Um, yeah. Of course," she slowly made her way to the living room couch, sitting cross-legged as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I followed, sitting next to her but a little distant.
The silence between us was getting too long, but I had no idea how to form the words I wanted to say. I avoided eye contact with Nini, fearing I'd never be able to say it out loud if I did.
"Is everything okay, Ricky?" I felt Nini's hand grab mine, gently squeezing it with love and admiration. I finally looked up at her, wanting to cherish these last times with those beautiful brown eyes.
"Nini, I... I have to go," I whispered, terrified of what would happen next. "I'm so sorry for not telling you sooner, but I'm leaving in a week for college, and I'm so fucking scared of what's going to happen to us because-" I choked on my words, trying to summon the courage to speak the three words that mattered the most. "...because I love you, Nini. I love you so much, and I know we just met at that stupid theater when we both hated each other, but I do. I love you, and I don't want to leave you, and looking at you right now, I don't even know if I can," I finished my rant, the bottom of my eyes filled with tears as my grip tightened around her tiny hand.
The next thing I knew, I was sobbing into Nini's shoulder, clutching her tightly as the reality of leaving next week weighed heavily on me. She didn't say any words, but I knew her answer. She wasn't going to give up on me either. I continued to hold her in my grasp, trying to memorize how she felt in my arms before I'd have to endure months without it. Finally, we pulled away, my eyes red and puffy from the tears. 
"We're going to make this work, I promise. And don't worry, Bowen, I know you can do it. I'll be there for you every step of the way because... I love you too," she said, offering a faint smile and pressing a kiss to the knuckles of my hands. I couldn't help but break into a smile, the nervousness fading away into a flutter of affection.
I spent the rest of the evening with Nini, the both of us trying to figure out a plan to make our dream realities come true. Having Nini alongside me made everything feel more secure, and I questioned why I had ever believed that keeping this secret from her could be beneficial. Surprisingly, the days leading up to my departure were not filled with fear and anxiety; instead, they were filled with hope and anticipation. Her words had become etched inside my head, pushing me forward.
We're going to make this work, I promise.