Chapter 23

                                    

                                          

Eda could see the awaiting confrontation with his father was taking its toll on Serkan. With every passing day, he was getting more silent and withdrawn. He avoided spending time with anybody except her, and when he was with her, he mainly read books or cuddled, but he was quiet. He lost all his usual confidence. The person he was avoiding the most was Fifi and her worried gaze. Whenever she tried to reach him, he was disappearing, going to the gym or pool.
After three days since their successful takeover and sale of companies and no sign from Ediz Yildirim, Eda woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed and saw Serkan sitting on the floor by the big wall window watching Istanbul at night. 
Many times she found him in that position day or night and knew he hadn't been sleeping through the past nights. She could recognize his lack of sleep by his face getting more pale and gray with every passing day and the dark circles appearing under his eyes. She found him sleeping several times on the couch when he dozed off over the book from exhaustion, but he was walking up quickly with a start, and Eda knew he was vigilant during the night because he was afraid his nightmares would come back or they already came. 
Eda looked at the watch. It was two in the morning. She got up from the bed, wrapped herself into a sheet, and sat next to Serkan, putting her head on his shoulder. 
"Why are you not sleeping?" Serkan asked quietly, observing the city lights.
"I can't sleep without you." 
When Eda met with the silence from his part, she moved to sit between his legs, placing her head on his chest. She knew he was struggling. She didn't blame him. He always was alone with his feelings and fears. Even if he was surrounded by his family, he never opened up to them. She slowly stroked his arm and chest, feeling how tense he was, and when he embraced her and placed the kiss on the top of her head, Eda felt relief. She reached for his cheek to pull his face down to look at her, and in his eyes she saw uncertainty and fear.
"Serkan, will you tell me what is going on?" She whispered, caressing his cheek.
Serkan answered after a couple of minutes of watching the view from the window. When he turned his gaze to her, he looked lost and helpless. "I don't know what to tell him. I didn't know it would be that difficult. Everything sounds stupid and pretentious."
"Serkan, you don't have to do it if this makes you anxious." Eda tried to reason with him, but he immediately shook his head in protest. "You already defeated him, and he lost. We don't even have to stay in Istanbul."
Serkan looked back at the window. "No, it's not the city, it's him. And if I won't face him, I will never move forward."
"But what do you expect from this? You won't get any satisfaction from him."
"I don't know. I wish he could look me in the eyes and see what has done, but I know it doesn't mean anything to him, so at least I want to look him in the eyes and show he didn't succeed and I'm still here. At the gala, he had no idea what was happening. He was surprised. Shocked, angry but not defeated. Now he learned the full extent of what we did. I want to see his defeat."
His voice was so miserable that Eda straightened up and knelt in front of him, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to stop looking by the window. When he tried to put his head down, she pulled him up.
"It won't help." She said, shaking her head and seeing despair in his eyes.
"It has to. I'm stuck."
"Serkan." She moved to sit cross-legs and made his head rest on her lap. "You need to get some sleep."