26. Felix

                                    

                                          
Felix hugged his legs to his chest as he leant against his headboard. It was almost pitch black in his room, the sun was still yet set to rise, but Felix had no plans of sleeping as he held his phone and listened to Jisung. His best friend who he had missed dearly.
Felix had wanted to contact Jisung for ages; he just never knew how.
When Hyunjin had shown up at his side all those months ago after he had broken up with Changbin, and asked if he needed someone to talk to about what happened, Felix was more than grateful to take up Hyunjin's offer. 
It was easy to talk with Hyunjin, to go to him, when the boy gave him a new perspective. But he hadn't completely meant to shelve Jisung in doing so.
Finally seeing Jisung happy with Minho, Felix didn't want to burden him. Felix knew Jisung would want to be with Minho, and if he was with Minho then Changbin was a given too.
Felix would never have forgiven himself if he was the reason for stunting Jisung's happiness simply because he'd forced Jisung to choose.
So he gave them space, he pushed Jisung away, and in turn ran straight to Hyunjin. But as Jisung kept drifting further and further away, Felix realised he had messed up the compass that could one day lead him back. The path to Jisung was no longer an easy one.
It was nice having Hyunjin by his side, he was loyal, he would listen, he would comfort, and he'd always try to make Felix smile through jokes and witty wisdom. Most importantly, Hyunjin never shied away when Felix needed a hand to hold and he never laughed when Felix was upset. 
Hyunjin always put in his best to help him get over Changbin.
Not that he ever could.
It wasn't until the day Hyunjin kissed him that he realised he still loved Changbin, even despite not knowing then what he did now.
Up until the kiss Felix felt like Hyunjin would be the one to help him move on. That Hyunjin could be the reason to forget Changbin ever existed in his heart, just as long as he put effort in.
But as Hyunjin had cupped his cheeks and grabbed his waist, as the boy leant in and kissed him, their lips pressing together, the rose coloured glasses that Felix had been hiding behind fell away, and they shattered to the ground when he'd caught Changbin's receding form out the corner of his eye.
Seeing Changbin walk away forced Felix to realise just how estranged they had become...and just how much he missed him and longed to chase after him.
Even before speaking Felix could see Hyunjin felt it too, that they just weren't meant to be. As they'd pulled away from each other Felix was in no way surprised or upset when Hyunjin had apologised, and he had no problem agreeing to ignore the kiss ever happened.
Felix wasn't upset or angry. Instead he felt relieved. He was finally able to accept that he did still have feelings for Changbin and maybe, just maybe he wanted to fight to get him back. 
He wanted- no, needed to know why Changbin kept Wooyoung a secret. Changbin simply not being able to "perform" didn't feel like a good enough answer. Maybe he had jumped to conclusions? It's not entirely like Wooyoung said they'd had sex, just that things got heavy. What exactly was "heavy"?
Felix felt like there was more than meets the eye. He trusted the goodness in Changbin. There had to be another reason.
But his pursuit to find the answer he sought was a harder road to follow than he ever imagined.
Felix had tried to track Changbin down to talk to him but Changbin was like a rainbow, you could see him but you could never get close enough to touch him. It was like Changbin could sense him coming and he'd slip away before Felix even had a chance to call his name.