Chapter Forty-Three

                                    

                                          
I hate the way he's looking at me right now, like I've completely betrayed his trust and In a way I have. This is something I should have shared with them as soon as I figured it out but with everything going on I've barely had enough time to wrap my head around it myself let alone share this with them. 
I guess the truth is I wanted to wait until this whole thing with Antonio was dealt with before I even approached it with them, before I let myself really start to feel happy about the thought of it. Because that's how I actually feel. 
Happy. Optimistic. 
It's a big deal I know it is, it's life changing and with the way my life is right now I can't fully let it sink in or even bring myself to do a test in case something horrific happens in the next 24 hours. 
Because that's what always happen anytime things are going well and start to be happy some kind of shit show explodes. Raining misery on absolutely everything and I don't want that for this. I don't want this to be overshadowed because when I really think about it I am happy about the possibility. More than I ever thought I would be. 
When they said that's what they wanted in a future with me there's no denying I was a little more than panicked about it. Who wouldn't be at my age? But then it was never something I'd really considered before then. 
But now it's really on the cards I can't think of anything I want more than a future and a family with them. 
I flush the toilet and rise to my feet, turning towards the sink so I can splash my face with water and brush my teeth. I at least don't want to feel like a sweaty mess with vomit breath when I talk to him about this but Alec clearly has other thoughts on the matter. 
"Alissandra don't fucking ignore me" Alec snaps from behind me and his brash tone startles me. He's never like this with me, he's always soft and soothing with him approach but this is completely different but I can understand why. He's pissed I've been keeping this from them and I can't blame him for it.
Turning to face him I take in his tense form and I don't like what I see one bit. "I wanted to wait until we got back to New York. Until I was sure myself before I told you" I say softly but my explanation just seems to irritate him even more. 
"Don't lie to me" he practically growls 
"I'm not lying to you Alec" I half laugh feeling a little on edge but I continue. "I only really figured it out yesterday and well there hasn't exactly been a good time to just pop it into conversation" 
"Well now seems like as good of time as any. Are you pregnant?" He says through gritted teeth and I feel his frustration is about a lot more than me not telling them. 
"I don't know yet I think I might be though" I reply honestly and I genuinely expected him to be pleased about it but the reaction I'm getting is completely unexpected. 
He sighs and shakes his head like he's completely disappointed by my revelation "This is what's going to happen" he says sternly and continues "once we get back to New York I'm going to take you to deal with it. Then-"
I interrupt him then. "What do you mean deal with it?" I ask completely baffled with the turn in the conversation. Deal with it? I don't want to deal with it, and I can't believe that those words have even left him mouth in such a cold way.