26. Interruptions

                                    

                                          
But I do think if you love him, if you really think you do... then you should talk to him. 
Dani's words kept repeating over and over again in my head. They had been since she left the house two days ago. I knew that she was right and I knew I needed to talk to Sawyer, but I was struggling with figuring out how to do it. 
Sawyer and I still hadn't talked about anything, but he had been less cold than he'd been to me on my birthday. Things were still very awkward between us, but I think he was starting to realize how much he was hurting me and maybe even himself by the way he was acting. 
At least that's what I hoped he was realizing. I still couldn't wrap my brain around how quickly things had changed between the two of us. One minute, he was telling me that a relationship between us was possible, the next minute he was telling me he wanted nothing to do with me, the next minute he was still distant but starting to talk to me again. My brain was an absolute wreck trying to make sense of everything. 
Things had taken a turn so quickly that it almost felt like someone had slapped me in the face. Even though I still hadn't really talked to him about my birthday, other than the little that was said in the bathroom, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't stop thinking about just how cold he'd treated me. I hoped that things would change after I talked to him. 
I also felt like I was running out of time and I was tired of walking around unsure of what was going on between the two of us. I needed some sort of an answer before I went back to California, even if those answers broke my heart. 
Sawyer was on his way home from work and I was standing in the kitchen, waiting on the lasagna I'd made to finish cooking. My heart felt like it was beating a million beats a minute and my palms were sweating with nerves. I'd gone back and forth literally all day, trying to decide what I wanted to say to Sawyer, trying to decide if I even really wanted to talk to him. But I knew that if I pushed it back any longer, I wasn't going to do it at all and I was going to leave without knowing what was going on between us. 
I'd spent the last couple of days doing a lot of reflecting. Going back and forth with Sawyer was killing me, but I couldn't deny the way I felt about him if I tried. I knew I was far beyond the point of crushing on him. I also knew this was more than someone that I simply wanted to hook up with. My feelings were undeniable at this point.
I was in love with Sawyer Evans. 
The timer that I'd set on my phone went off, breaking me from my nervous thoughts. I quickly turned it off and opened the over, checking to make sure that the food was actually finished cooking. When I saw that it was, I slipped on some oven mitts and pulled it out of the oven before placing it on the stove to cool off. While I waited for that to cool off, I grabbed a couple of plates out of the cabinet to place on the dining room table. Just as I placed the second plate down, I heard the front door open letting me know that Sawyer was home from work. 
Almost instantly, I sucked in a nervous breath. I tried to shake my hands off on my jeans before I walked into the living room, just as Sawyer was closing the front door. He had his binder and water bottle in his hand like always. 
Sawyer glanced in my direction when he heard me walking into the living room. "Hey." He started. "It smells really good in here." 
He kicked his shoes off by the front door and set his binder and water bottle down on the coffee table before making his way over to me. 
	"Hey. I uh, made dinner. Are you hungry?" I asked. I hated how anxious I felt about all of this. I hated that I had no idea how the conversation was going to go and I just hated all of the uncertainty.