Chapter 86

                                    

                                          
"Won't you?" I ask Jungkook.
I fix my gaze upon his eyes, seeking any subtle indication of his thought regarding my entreaty.
But I can't read him at all.
With an imploring gaze, I beseech him, silently pleading for his agreement.
Jungkook holds my shoulders, distancing himself from me. He turns to leave and walks away, going down the stairs.
 With each step, his presence fades into the distance, leaving behind a lingering sense of leaving.
My heart aches that he walks away.
I bite my lower lip, and I bow my head, as if seeking solace in the depths of my own thoughts.
My sight starts to blur.
I want our relationship to be as it was before. Before I know the truth. So that we can be happy.
I want to run away from all of the things that mess with my head and be happy with the people that I care for and love.
Why he doesn't want to?



                   Jungkook sits at the dining table for breakfast.
Most of the time, he's lost in his thoughts.
Y/N in his head.
Her confession looks genuine.
He flashes the look in her eyes. They are genuine.
And about her suggestion. That is so dumb.
It's like leaving the hill so the enemy can overtake it, have powerful control, and kill them. That's so dumb.
But he can understand her perspective.
She doesn't know a lot about things.
Especially about the Mafia.
That girl just never gets pointed with the gun right to her forehead for real, and she thinks it is as easy as running away.
The Mafia is darker than she thinks. There's no escape.
But is it so easy to understand? Why can she even think about it?
Jungkook tilts his head.
He tries to understand y/n.
He tries to understand her behavior too.
Is she dumb? Is she childish?
Sometimes, it's as if she's bipolar too.
But those aren't bad.
It's not bad to be dumb and childish. It's not bad at all.
He only needs to know how to handle her.


                       I go back into my room and sit on the bed.
I am so fucking tired.
I'm tired of the things in my head and the harsh beats of my heart because of the feelings.
I know I love Jungkook. I know deep inside my heart that I always love him and never stop doing that.
But it's just that I feel guilty for doing that. That's why every time I see him, I am angry and mad.
Because why does it have to be him?
My sanity tells me that I have to hate a person who hurts people for whatever reason he has. Because to punish people is God's job.