14: An Easy Life Is Impossible

                                    

                                          
Chapter 14:
                          
Hazel POV:
                          
I pushed the thought of my grandmother's surname and focused on the fact that the most important person in my life has passed away. She was dead and I couldn't talk to her again or hug her or thank her for everything she has done to help me. I couldn't do stuff that I used to do with her. This all happened in the few weeks my parents and I have been in Bradford. Why couldn't I be here just for these past weeks? Why did we have to move? I grabbed a handful of hair in both of my hands and pulled, burying my head between my knees.
                          
I wanted to scream and yell and cry and just ... just lock myself in a room and die in there. I was currently in the bathroom of my aunt's house, my parents were on their way from their jobs. The funeral was tomorrow early morning at around 6 in the morning and when they told my grandfather that his wife he died, he didn't show any emotion just turned around and stared out of the window across his bed. He didn't talk to anyone but the nurse watching him told us that after we left, he started crying for a while then slept.
                          
I wiped my eyes furiously and closed my eyes, trying to breath calmly but I couldn't. I couldn't process that she's dead. I couldn't process that her surname was Malik Anderson. What if she was part of the Malik's? Her last few words came back to me, again. She said that I should forget about my family history which probably meant forgetting what the Malik's did to our family. She said if I love someone, I go for it just like she did with my grandfather which meant that this Malik issue had been going on for way before my grandparents and they grew up with it. But then again, if my grandfather really does hate the Malik's, why did he marry one in the first place? She also said to go for it. Did she think that I loved Zayn or what? Or maybe she thought there was another Malik my age or slightly older?
                          
Did she really have to die at such an inconvenient time!? I just wanted to scream. A knock on the door knocked me back to my senses. I breathed in sharply and stood up. I looked in the mirror and wiped away the black smudges beneath my eyes, pulled my hair into a pony tail, licked my lips and unlocked the door and came face to face with my father. Tears threatened to fall but I refused to let them.
                          
"Hi honey," he said and smiled weakly.
                          
His eyes were slightly red, probably from crying. I hadn't ever seen my father cry. Well, he had just lost his mother.
                          
"Hi daddy," I whispered and he opened his arms, gesturing for me to hug him. And I did. I rested my head against his toned chest and let the tears silently fall. He hugged me one last time then let go of me. His eyes looked normal again but mine weren't. They probably looked worse. I heard my mother calling the both of us to go in the kitchen but I didn't want to go in front of my mum, aunt, uncle and probably Seth right now. I wasn't in the mood for it and I was extremely tired; I woke up at 6 in the morning and had to wait for Zayn an extra fifteen minutes because he woke up ten minutes late, the school day dragged by painfully and slept a very uncomfortable thirty minute sleep in a not-so-comfortable train chair and then the unexpected death of my grandmother and I had been approximately in this bathroom for more than an hour crying my eyes out, sitting on the cold hard bathroom floor. And I was extremely hungry but I didn't want to eat.
                          
"I'm going to go sleep," I mumbled and he nodded, understanding. I turned around and dragged myself up the stairs and into the guest bedroom, kicked off my shoes and pulled the covers over my head. Immediately I started crying and I couldn't stop. I could hear them talking from up here, considering the guest room had a balcony considering that right beneath it was the kitchen where they were. I groaned and covered my head with the pillow and screamed into the pillow though it became muffled since my head was buried against the bed. Tears continued to flow freely out of my eyes and I found myself closing my eyes.