Twenty-Six

                                    

                                          

-Willow-
I woke up on the living room floor in pain and fear, my face against a chest with several arms thrown around me. My face was slightly damp, alerting me that I did have a nightmare. But I didn't scream out. I could hear the lowered volume of the tv, the living room was still dark except for the light of the tv and the fairy lights on the couch. 
I raised my head up slightly to look around, we all passed out on the floor. I felt around for my phone, not finding it anywhere around me. Must be in my bag. 
I rubbed my eyes softly as I gently peeled Noah and Nick's arms from around me. Crawling from between them and out of the fort. I quietly stood to my height, not putting my weight on my right ankle. 
I hobbled over to where I saw my purse, reaching in it. Retrieving my phone, lighter and a joint I had in the small pocket. It would help with the pain and turn my mind off. 
I took one look back at the fort, Nick and Noah facing each other with a small gap between them from where I had been. Jolly was stretched out on his back with his arms raised over his head but on the ground, snoring softly. Folio was leaned against the couch with his head back on a pillow asleep. 
I smiled as I walked to the back door, softly unlocking it and sliding it open. Making sure to be as quiet as possible when I closed it back. I looked around me at the deck. I walked to the stairs and sat down, lighting the joint while I inhaled. I looked up at the sky, not seeing a lot of stars in the California sky. A cause of all the bright lights I'm sure. I blew smoke out with an exasperated sigh. 
The last three and a half years have been a lot.  Not in a good way, I drowned myself in work to avoid the elephant I faced everyday. When I met Alex, I saw him as a distraction. He grabbed my attention; sure. But in a 'you could make me forget' way. But he couldn't make me forget, and I didn't have the heart to break up with him sooner. I didn't love him, I never did. 
I never will. 
Stuck in an abusive relationship, letting someone mistreat me because I felt like I deserved it. I deserved to be hurt. It's hard to not feel that way when everyday you are told that you do deserve it. You're shown you deserve the torment, abuse, assault, lies and cheating. 
Having to admit that Alex had blackmailed me into getting pregnant was a difficult pill to swallow. I had told myself over and over, I want a child with him. It would be okay, maybe he'd change with a child. 
But I knew he would never change, I also knew that I needed my friends. I had been stuck in Virginia with no support for years. Everyone I love, gone. Either by death or dreams. 
It hurt me everyday to know that I had taken pills for months everyday so I wouldn't get pregnant with his child. I'd kill myself before I would ever have a child with that monster. 
I jumped as someone sat beside me, I looked over and had to look up. Meaning it was Noah. 
"I didn't think you smoked anymore." He spoke quietly, rubbing his eyes as his voice was huskier than normal. His hair everywhere with sleep as he began to smooth it out. 
Honesty, Nick's voice echoed in my head. 
"My ankle hurts and I uh had the nightmare again." I spoke softly, flicking the joint and offering it to him. He stared at it briefly before taking it and taking a soft pull from it before passing it back to me. 
"Lo, please let me take you to the doctor. We don't have to go to the hospital, we can do urgent care. Do you want to talk about it?" He exhaled his reply as he stared down at me with intent and kindness.