Ch. 15 || The Realisation

                                    

                                          

Damien 🥀
I woke up with my right arm throbbing a little from the impact I had against the car door last night. It was a bearable pain. It was nothing compared to what I've endured before. 
When I let her drive, she crashed my car on purpose. She took the revenge of that night when I left her alone on that road. It wasn't a big accident, only the backside was damaged from being crashed against the wall.
I don't care if the car is wrecked or not, But thankfully, Zaria didn't get herself hurt.
I head to the bathroom and turn on the shower. The cold water running down my body gave me the relaxation I needed. 
I run my hands through my thick hair.
Replaying the memories from last night. Last night. The night which turned my entire world upside down. 
My lips on her. 
Poison devouring the cure. 
I kissed her like, she's the only salvation to my damnation.
A kiss so impatient, greedy and needy that i seem to can't get enough of it 
and.....she gave into my greed. 
But despite that kiss, I am livid, Displeased at myself. There's no one to blame but me. How could I have forgotten her ? The only woman and person who has the power to make me succumb to her. 
Thora. 
The only woman who can rule my heart for an eternity was right in front of me all this time. And like a goddamn fool I failed to understand the feeling I felt whenever I saw zaria. 
The feeling when you feel like your skin is on fire. The feeling when something feels so home and familiar yet far away and strange. 
But right now, For the first time in my life, I'm feeling dumb. Dumb for forgetting something so pure and ethereal as her. Dumb for forgetting my own existence. The harsh reality of my past life clicked in when my lips touched Zaria's. 
I wish I could tell her about who she really is. About who I am. But I'd only make a fool of myself. Like I almost did last night. 
Last night I acted like a pre-teen who just learned about sex and pleasure. But I couldn't help myself, I was feeling different kinds of feelings at the same time and I couldn't get a hold on myself. 
I'm sure after last night, zaria is thinking that I'm definitely a kid who doesn't know how to act around women. 
But telling her was out of question. Helios Vincent, the high king of kallistar doesn't exist for her yet. My Queen Thora Kastor hasn't yet shown up in this lifetime. Reincarnations don't happen in real life unless you know it.
Telling her the whole truth without proof is a move only a fool would make. It's important to think about all the contingencies like how the truth will affect her. 
I turn off the shower and wrap the gray towel around my hip as I turn to the mirror. The LED lights of the mirror are brighter than I need them to be right now. I click some switches on the display and lower the brightness and turn on the music. A soft instrumental. 
I look in the mirror. The person staring back at me was unrecognizable. It's not Damien, it's Helios. Taunting me over my reckless behavior.