Chapter 55

                                    

                                          
Andy and I found our friends outside. It was midmorning. Not quite the epic lie in that I had intended, but I guess Andy's insomnia had put paid to that. We intended to make the most of having no exams and the good weather, so we settled down in the sun with our backs to the castle wall. Helen and Katie had already started up a game of Padleigh so I shut my eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of the sun on my face. I fell into day dreams, planning my next date with Sirius. We could take the boat out again if we had time before heading home for the summer. Or we could sneak off to Hogsmead again. I really fancied a Plimpy and gilly water... My daydreams entertained me for most of the morning and I only looked up when my stomach started rumbling. 
"Anyone want lunch?" I asked aloud. 
There were general murmurs of concent but no one else made a move. They were all so enthralled in their game. I had seen this before. "Okay, I'll get food" I muttered, getting up from the grass. I wanted to go in and get a book anyway. Or maybe some cards... something to entertain myself. "Anyone want anything in particular?" I asked, but again was met with little response. I loved my friends and I knew they loved me, but sometimes it was frustrating to be quite so ignored. I headed in anyway. I would find them something. 
As it was, that something turned out to be paninis. Lots of them. I grabbed a few different flavours, wrapped them in napkins and headed back outside, but as I was heading through the doorway my attention was caught by Bertha, a Hufflepuff seventh year. 
"Trudy" she cried in greeting. I halted. I didn't have much to do with Bertha if I could help it. All I knew about her was that she was an almighty gossip. 
"Bertha" I replied curtly. "How are you doing?" 
"Oh I'm great" she smiled, gleefully. That made me nervous. "I saw you coming out of your room this morning. With Andy Cleverly! What's going on there?"
"Nothing is going on there." I told her. "He's my friend".
"Are you sure you're just friends?" She asked, trying to weedle more juicy gossip out of me. "Nothing more? He didn't spend the night in your room for any other reason?"
"He didn't spend the night in my room full stop. He came in to talk to me in the morning" I tried to lay the facts out for her, plain and simple. I didn't want her twisting this into anything it wasn't. 
"Yeah yeah. We all know what that means. Say hi to Andy for me" and she sauntered off. I turned away from her, completely baffled by the conversation, only to come face to face with Sirius. He was watching me warily. 
"You okay?" I asked him.
He took a step towards me and talked quietly so that only I could hear. "After the night we had, you had Andy in your room? Seriously Trudy?"
"You coming Sirius?" James interrupted us from behind me. Remus and Peter looked round too. They had evidently only just realised Sirius had stopped walking with them. 
I turned back to Sirius. "We need to talk. Meet me in the spare class room over there when you've finished your lunch." 
I hated saying it like that. The phrase 'we need to talk' could strike fear into anyone in a relationship. But I needed the time and the space to explain what happened properly, to explain that Andy now knew about us. To apologise. And a mumbled conversation in the entrance hall would not do that justice.
I took the paninis back outside to my friends before returning to the castle under the pretence of getting something to do, but instead of heading back to my dormatory, I headed for the free classroom to wait for Sirius.
It took him 20 minutes to get back to me. I sat on a desk and waited nervously the whole time, inspecting my nails and vigorously cleaning any dirt out from under them. I heard muffled voices in the entrance hall and paused in my nail inspections when I heard what I thought was Sirius's voice say "you guys go ahead, I just need to use the bathroom". I had never been so grateful that boys used the bathroom alone.
I looked up when I heard the door open. The look on Sirius's face hadn't improved. 
He shut the door carefully behind him but didn't come much closer. The hurt scowl still played across his features.
"After all we did last night, after all we said. And you had Andy in your room the whole time?"
"No" I told him. I wanted to rush to him, to explain, to hold him but I didn't know if he would want me to. Normally I was so self assured around Sirius, but now... "No. Andy came into my room to wake me up. He wanted to talk to me. He hasn't been sleeping well during exams and he couldn't sleep last night. He saw us Sirius. He saw you kiss me up by the castle. He knows."
"Damn." Sirius muttered under his breath. 
"I'm sorry".
"It's not your fault" he sighed, running a hand through his hair. It was an odd moment to notice it but I couldn't help but think quite how attractive Sirius was, with his dark hair and his chiselled jaw. I slid off the bench and took a step towards him. 
"I really am sorry Sirius. He... He knows.... about us" I hung my head. We had agreed to keep this relationship a secret and now here we were with two of the people I was closest to knowing about us. It didn't seem fair. 
"Do you want to end it? Now that people know?" Sirius asked me abruptly. I looked up at him. His face was guarded and he was watching me closely.
"No" I shook my head.
"Do you want to start telling people?"
"No. Do you?"
"No. Do you trust Andy?"
"Yes". 
Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and I saw his shoulders relax. "That's good then. We just accept that he knows and keep doing what we're doing."
"We just need to be more careful" I agreed, walking towards him and pulling him into a fierce hug. I tilted my head up and kissed him passionately again, pressing him back against the door. 
"I was so scared something bad was going to happen" Sirius breathed, "I was so happy last night, and so sure that something would ruin that."
"I hope it doesn't" I replied "Because I'm happy too." Just in that moment I heard some mutterings from the other side of the door. I pulled out my wand super fast and tapped the lock on the door, I heard a tiny click, then the door started to shake. 
"Bloody door. Why is it locked?" I heard Pringle the caretaker say angrily. Sirius and I looked at each other, pressed against each other, Sirius's back against the door. I held my breath and knew that Sirius was doing the same. We stayed like that until Pringle left.
"Yeah" I breathed. "We really do need to be more careful".