Chapter 19|| healing and death

                                    

                                          
as we quickly rushed winston to some selter I bent down and checked his vitals "its......" I looked down as he was still unconscious trying to help while everyone was crowding around me. 
"newt hand me a water bottle!" I yelled and newt quickly grabbed a water bottle and handed it to me "someone lift his head up!" I shouted and thomas quickly lifted his head up while I opened winstons mouth and poured the water down his mouth. 
he quickly woke up and I moved his head against a backpack. "briar....." winston whispered under his breath. "mhm?" I said back trying to get him up. "go relax, I'm fine" he said and laid back. 
I nodded and stood up and get some air from the very crowded room, vera followed me "briar." she said and sat next to me in the sand. "yeah ver?" I ask drinking a big sip of water. "are you ever going to talk to newt?" she asked with a worried look on her face. 
"tell him what?" I asked even though I knew the answer "tell him....well everything briar the only people that know is me you and teresa. we got our memory back. he didn't and he could easily get it back and he'll be angry for keeping it from you."  she said. 
"vera. I don't know how to even make sense of this I was trapped inside my own mind and I watched every thing unfold I died vera! some how I lost that much blood and still lived."  
"briar you need to talk to people about it and has much as I love you newt is more, he knows more and he definitely has seen you naked before unlike well all I know is he's more then adam"
"shhh!" I put my finger on her lip "keep that down." I crossed my arms and looked around to see if anyone heard. 
"rory we are 16. we can't be living like this, newt knows you he knew you for the years I mourned your death, the years your sister spent looking for you. he was there and we weren't and now we are all here, he should know everything." vera said and rubbed my shoulder 
"no vera! no! he doesn't need to know!"
"briar-"
"NO VERA IM NOT TELLING NEWT THAT I WAS NOW ASSAULTED 3 THREE TIMES TWICE BY JANSON! THE SAME PERSON WHO HAD RAPED MY MOTHER AND GOT HER PREGNANT AND I STILL HAVE NO EARTHLY CLUE WHERE SHE IS. NOT TO MENTION THAT NEWT HAS A LITTLE SISTER RUNNING AROUND AND I DIED TWICE VERA TWICE! BY A FUCKING GRIEVER I HAVE 15 SCARS VERA! AND THEY HURT LIKE HELL! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY MOTHER I WANT MY BROTHER I WANT MY FATHER BUT I CANT HAVE THEM YOU KNOW WHY BECAUSE THEIR ALL DEAD! MY FAMILY IS DEAD VERA GONE! I WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN AND THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE LEFT IN MY FAMILY IS TERESA! I NEVER KNEW AND HOW I FOUND OUT?! IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS TIED DOWN RAPED AND THEN SOMETHING WAS INJECTED IN ME AND I SAW MY WHOLE LIFE FLASH BEFORE MY EYES AND I MEA LITERALLY! I WAS SHOT IN THE LEG WHEN I WAS 10 AND ABUSED BY THE SAME WOMEN WHO PUT ME IN THAT MAZE WHEN I WAS 11 YEARS OLD I GOT MY PERIOD IN THE MAZE I AM TERRIFIED OF EVERYTHING AND LOSING NEWT IS THE MAIN ONE! I WILL NOT LOSE EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF MY PAST!!!!!!"  I screamed so loud gally could probably hear me while tears started to form in my eyes vera pulled me in a hug and comforted me as I cried in her shoulders. 
"briar...." vera whispered and pulled away and I turned to newts horrified face he quickly ran over to me and I backed away from his touch  "newt- don't" I whispered under my breath. 
"newt I don't think we should-" before I could finish I heard a gunshot and a scream form minho. I quickly ran over to them, anything was better then this awkward moment with newt. 
"what the hell happened!?" I yelled and ran over in winston who was fighting for the gun with fry. 
"briar....fry please give it back...." 
"no winston! hold him down!" I ordered and grabbed the gun from fry and held it away from winton. his breath started to calm down or at least I thought he did until he grabbed my arm and threw me on the ground and wrapped his hands around my neck and to choke me I started to get flash backs from ben. 
"no...no get him off me help...." I muttered as he squeezed harder newt grabbed wintons back and threw him off me. 
newt picked me up and laid me against the rock. "are you alright rory?" newt asked and rubbed my forehead. "I'm fine newt." I groaned and got up to help fry and minho hold fry down. 
"briar its fine we got him-" fry said and I bent down to hug winston and calm him down. 
"briar what the hell are you doing?! " thomas yells as winston tries to fight me like a mad man. 
"please winston.....hug me" I whispered as tears fall of my face and in his shoulders. a few moments of silnce went by before I feel winstons arms wrap around me "I hurt...you...didn't I?" he muttered while tracing his fingers over the bruises he left on my neck. I nodded "it doesn't hurt i've been through worse, you can't hurt me......." I whispered and continuing to hug him. 
"briar he has the flare get off of him!" fry yells worrying echoing in his tone as newt holds him back. "fry she knows what she's doing." he whispers like he was trying to convince himself more then fry. 
teresa nodded and stood over me waiting for something to happen. 
winston started coughing and I slowly pulled apart from him "winston......" my voice started to break. he lifted his shirt up and mutterd under his breath "It's growing....inside me..." he says in horror as my eyes turn to his face down to his waist were black veins folded his stomach, teresa grabbed me and held me away from him and I started to scratch my skin. 
"STOP STOP I CAN HEEL HIM!" I yell as teresa and thomas hold me back as newt holds the a gun and points it at winston. "do it newt, don't let her see...." winston says I quickly understand what newt is about to do and fought harder to get free of my sister's grasp. "NO NEWT DON'T PULL THAT TRIGGER PLEASE I CAN SAVE HIM!!!" I yell as I start to rip my skin on my arm open and blood flows down "SEE NEWT GIVE HIM MY BLOOD PLEASE! NEWT STOP!" I yelled out but it felt like no one could hear me like someone had just put me on mute "NEWT STOP!!!!!" I screamed hoping that I could get through to him "don't let her watch this..." newt whispers as minho fry teresa,vera and aris turn my body around forcefully and hold me in place.
before I can fight it I hear a gunshot and my heart drops "NO!!" I yell and they relase me from there grasp as I run to to winstons drying body. 

"winston......no!" I yelled in tears as I tried to wake him up by shaking him but It was to late he was gone.