Chapter Eight

                                    

                                          
I was waiting outside of the audition room in NYADA's film building. I had auditioned for a student film and was waiting outside to hear the director's answer for me. I was rereading the scene that I had read, thinking about my audition. 
The tall blonde came in, the heels of her boots clicking against the wood floor. I stood as she said, "Your audition was great, Kimberly. I don't need to hear it again. Look, this film is my senior thesis, and I'd like you to be a part of it. Any questions?"
"Well, Electra, I can tell that your script is raw and personal. My boyfriend is a writer, so I'm able to somewhat recognize that stuff in writing. I was just wondering, um, is Come Back to Me, Grandmother: A Journey into Alzheimer's, is that you and your grandmother?"
"The grandmother slipping into dementia is an allegory . . ."
"Oh, of course, totally," I said embarrassed.
" . . . Obviously, of the end of the world. You would be playing both me and in the back-and-white flashbacks, my grandmother."
"Okay."
"If you're willing to go on this adventure with me."
"Yes! I would be honored. I would."
"Great. There is one thing. You will have to topless in the ballroom scene with Titus," Electra said, throwing me off guard. "It's not going to be a problem, is it?"
"Uh . . . Can I think about it for a moment?"
"Sure. I'll come find you in an hour?"
"Yeah. I'll be across the street."
I grabbed my things and made my way to my main building walking down the quiet halls, talking to myself.
"I'm a strong and confident woman. I'm the one that initiated the night Ethan took my virginity. And let's face it, my breasts are one of the best parts of my body."
"Let's face it."
I looked up to see my younger Sophomore self who wore less make-up than I did now, which still wasn't that much, not as much as Rachel, and not one of my favorite outfit choices. 
"You do not always like them because you feel like they are disproportionate to your body because of your build. They're somewhat large for it. You have a beautiful body, but are you ready to expose yourself to the world?" the young me asked.
"Wow, first of all, rude, you don't like them, I do. Second, that's what all great artists do. They expose themselves."
I turned the other direction, going to the dance room, trying to get away from Sophomore me. I set my bag down on the piano bench and looked up, only to find her standing in the mirror.
"Expose their souls, not their flesh," she said.
"But it's all part of the same package," I said. "Am I really expected to be able to bare my soul if I'm ashamed of the body that holds it?"
"I think a little shame is a good thing. You're not a porn star, though you act like it when you're having fun with Ethan." 
"Wow. Just flat out say it. And that's a lie, that was mean."
"I'm sorry, but you've gotten out of hand in the bedroom."
"Okay, fine, just a little bit," I crossed my arms. "I guess there's only one way to resolve this."
"Sing about it. Thank god," she turned to an imaginary band. "Hit it."
Kimberly:
I thought I saw a man brought to life