Chapter 61

                                    

                                          
Right where you left me by Taylor Swift
I swear you could hear a hair pin drop, right when I felt the moment stop. Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on. I stayed there, dust collected on my pinned-up hair.



When we return back to the house I know what that means. I know what I have to do. 
"Jamie, can I talk to you?" I ask calmly. He looks around at the group in confusion, they just shrug. 
"Yeah." He says sceptically. I lead him into the empty library upstairs. I walk in slowly, breathing in the smell of old books and fresh parchment. 
He looks worried, as if he has a hunch something is up. I take a deep breath. I need a deep breath to get through this. 
"I'm leaving for college tonight." I explain slowly. "I know we agreed we would fly together in a week, the day before school starts and you would help me settle in. But I'm leaving early so i have time to adapt."
He nods in understanding, "Yeah i guess. We can fly tommorow and then I'll stay with you for a week to help get settled in." He agrees. 
I take another breath. "Jamie.. I'm leaving. Alone." 
His eyes squint slightly in confusion. "And I'm not planning to come back."
He falters. "What?" His voice disappears. 
"You're going travelling anyway. I don't want to hold you back." I tell him. 
"You're not holding me back Paris." He frowns. 
"Look, let me put this in a way you'll understand. You know how In chess, the queens only job is to protect the king. I'm protecting you."
He looks a little angry. "Protect me from what? You?" He laughs. 
"Look I spoke with Thea a while back and she got me thinking-"
He interrupts me, "Don't listen to her. She doesn't like me, of course she would tell you to break up with me."
I swallow, continuing anyway. "I'm starting a fresh. I don't want to be 'Avery's sister' or 'Jameson's girlfriend' I just want to be me. I'm making a new life for myself, doing what I love. And if I don't break up with you now I'll never be able to because I love you so much." I take his hand in mine. 
"Please don't do this. I can lose everything but please. God! Not you."  He begs, tears streaming down his cheeks. I hold back the tears, one of us needs to be strong. 
"That's the problem. I shouldn't be number one on your priorities list. You need to be number one." I reply.
We've broken up once before. But this time it feels real. I won't see him every day. I won't wake up and see him next to me. We're actually finished.
(a/n. I swear by the minions just started playing when writing this paragraph. Just thought that would lighten the mood.)
I take in one last shaky breath and turn around. And I walk away. Even when I hear his sobs and him crying out my name, trying to get me to turn back and tell him it was just a cruel joke. 
When I get out of the room I can still hear him crying. It takes everything in me to keep walking. It's over. I carefully wipe a tear from the corner of my eye so it doesn't look as if I've been crying.
I walk into the large room where everyone stands talking, Libby and Nash are there too. 
"I know Paris." She tells me. She knows we aren't sisters. "And I want to make sure you know that blood or not, you're always going to be my little sister." She hugs me and I squeeze her extra tight.