CELA'S POV - 2 weeks later 6pm...
'And yesterday, I made some chicken, the way you used to love it my baby' I stared at my daughters headstone. It was so beautiful, just like her. I changed the flowers out every week, so they stayed fresh.
I also started a colour scheme, and this week we was doing pink, for her favourite colour, and also cause that's what I dressed her in most.
'I miss you so much baby' I started, feeling myself getting worked up and emotional all over again. 'So much' I now cried into my hands.
***
I started walking back to where my car was parked, wiping off my eyes, cause they was feeling foggy from all the tears.
Omari was with Marcel today, and I was on my way to pick him up. I just wanted to spend the day with Tierra. I brought snacks and tissues, and just talked and stayed with my daughter all day.
Me and Marcel was in a weird place, ever since I found him with another girl, avoiding and lying to me. There's just too much going on.
As always.
'Is you good?' I heard from beside me. It was a guy that I saw here quite regularly when I went to check on Tee, and he always went to the grave that was kind of near to ours, but not quite.
'I'm okay, thank you' I smiled, as I sniffed.
'You sure?' He asked me and I nodded.
I hated when people asked me if I was okay, when I knew I wasn't, cause that was the question that would make me fall apart.
I nodded before bursting into tears. 'I just miss her so much' I cried, wiping my tears with a tissue from my hand that was all wet with tears.
He handed me another few tissues, and I smiled faintly before continuing to wipe my tears. 'You want a hug?' He asked me, and I nodded, and he pulled me into a hug.
I didn't usually accept physical contact from strangers, but I just felt as though I needed it. I'd been feeling so down recently. When I see Mar now, we don't even touch anymore and we barely make eye contact. The only time we speak is when Omari is being picked up from my house, or when I have to pick him up.
Other than that, it's radio silence.
'Thank You' i pulled away from him, and he nodded.
'No problem, just as long as you okay?' He asked me, and I nodded, smiling.
'Im better, thank you..' I waited for him to give me a name, and he chuckled.
'Jahmir' he said and I nodded.
'Thank you Jahmir, I'm Cela' he held out his hand for me to shake, and I laughed before shaking his hand.
He ain't look how he sounds. He was a nice guy, sweet.
'You going somewhere?' He asked me and I nodded.
'I have to go pick up my son from my hus- his dads house' I corrected my head and he nodded.
'Be safe Cela, see you around aight?' He said, and I nodded before walking away completely.
***
I drove into the driveway, and parked up my car. I got out of the car, and took a deep breath to shake away the nerves. I checked myself in the mirror, and my eyes were puffy and red, as I had cried all the way here from the time I left the cemetery.
Let's do this. I thought to myself, and walked towards the door. Once I got there, I pressed on the doorbell.
A girl answered the door, and I felt my heart sink. 'What the fuck Marcel? You got her around my son? Already?' I shouted to him, and he came downstairs, holding a sleepy Omari in his arms.
'Nah, It aint even like that' he said, but I ain't believe him. How could he have her around my son? It made me feel sick to my stomach.
I really didn't need this right now. 'I told your ass not to answer the door didn't I?' He asked her and she shrugged. 'Get the fuck outta here, now!' He raised his voice slightly, careful not to wake Omari.
It just dawned on me that it was the same girl that I saw him in the car with, the one that he was lying to me about. 'No, she doesn't need to go. Just give me my son, and get his bag' I reached for Omari, but Mar snatched his arm away from me.
'Nah, shorty still gotta go' he said, referring to the girl. She nodded before leaving the house. 'Come inside Cela' he said, and I shook my head no.
'Aight, hold on' he said, running upstairs with Omari, I'm guessing to put him down to sleep. He came back down quickly and grabbed my hand, pulling me inside and shutting the door behind us.
He led me into the front room, and we sat opposite from each other. 'I ain't have her around Omari, I promise. She just got here a minute before you came in, and Omari was still sleep in his room. I wouldn't disrespect you like that Cee, come on you know this' he assured me, and I put my head into my hands, and started crying.
I felt like an emotional wreck this last year.
I heard his footsteps, and felt him now sitting next to me. He tried to pull me into a hug, but I pushed him away. 'I'm fine Marcel, please just leave me alone' I pushed him away, but I regretted it afterwards.
He pulled me into a hug again, and this time I didn't push away from he. He rubbed on my back. 'I'm so sorry baby, for everything' I cried into his shoulder, and he sighed.
'I'm sorry too ma, I really am, for everything' I pulled away from him, and stared at him deep in his eyes.
'Why can't we just start over? I miss you so much' I couldn't help but say. 'But I know I've ruined everything now. I just want to you to know that I'm so sorry, and I feel like shit. I'm sorry for making you feel like shit too' I apologised. 'You were the best father to Tierra, doing everything you could for her, and I'm sorry I didn't see that before' he kissed me on my forehead, and I could see tears forming in his eyes too.
'We need to go to therapy ma' he said, and I nodded in agreement. I knew that there was a lot we needed to heal from and deal with, before we gave our relationship another chance.
I would do anything to have him back though.
