He would be lying if he said he didn't wish you would call. That your voice could somehow help soothe his nerves, even if it was a small distraction from the deprecation inside. He wondered if your words could somehow make things right again, like they did the day he met you on the rooftop. Hoping that perhaps this call would mean you were still on his side, even after everything he had done to hurt you; even after you have suffered so much already. 
 "Taehyung?" 
Because if you were on his side, did that mean that they would be too? 
"Yen, where are you? We couldn't find you and you were supposed to be there before the crowds showed up."
Did that mean they would stay even if things weren't the same? 
"Tae, I know you're scared." 
Taehyung swallows hard, his mouth going dry as the rest of the members begin to look his way. He wonders how you knew, how even now it seems as though you understand him, empathize with him, all when he couldn't feel more alone. 
But the reason is simple...
You're just as frightened as they are. 
"You're performing songs no one has heard before today, releasing them before even the album has been released."
You couldn't sleep at all last night, and when the sun began to shine, welcoming a new day you weren't sure if you were going to come. For a moment you considered giving it all up, letting go of such a long dream because it wasn't worth the risk. To just move on and forget; forget about the contract, forget about the commitment, forget about the fear...
Forget about him.
"You're afraid they won't like it, but most of all you're afraid they'll abandon you. That if you change even a little, they'll change too." 
But then you remembered the way it had felt to live it.
The buzz you got when you were on that stage. The exhilaration that filled your lungs when you were surrounded by those who shared your passion. The sleepless nights spent in a studio, or a practice room. Constant drills and orders instilled deep so that you would carry the same discipline and control whenever you moved on that stage. The tears and sweat, the frustration and fatigue, everything you did just for a chance. The desperation you faced, and the hollow empty feeling you got when the notion of it was stolen away from you.
Like so many before you, no matter the risk, you chose to move forward. 
Because this life, these moments, that desire, cannot live in dreams alone. It is your soul, it is something you cannot live without. 
So if it is a risk you must take, then you will take it.
No matter the cost. 
"But Tae, you were wrong."
Jin is the first to see what you've been watching for a while now. His eyes widen as the tears build up deep within his throat, unable to speak, much less move. And as you watch their car grow closer to the entrance, you smile brightly. 
Can you hear the cheers?
Can you see how long we've waited for you?
"Even if some leave, even if some can't support you anymore, you'll always have a whole world waiting to accept you with open arms." 
They're cheering...for them. 
A multitude of adoring fans swarm the entrance, pressing against the barricade of the red carpet as they scream their names, their fan chant flying above the crowd and becoming a simple harmonious symphony. They spread, crammed into the red carpet, lining for blocks down the road, every single one waiting for them. There are parents who have brought their children. Teenagers who carry photocards from years and years ago in their phone cases. Even grandparents who have lived their life, and yet have shown up in this crazed frenzy just to support their favorite band from their youth. Standing for who knows how long, enduring who knows what, just to get a glimpse of the ones they have waited for endlessly, tirelessly to come back. 
Even after every scandal, every obstacle, and even after the time they spent apart, they are the ones who stayed. They are the ones who supported them when no one else did, when no one else was willing to stand by their side. They've seen behind the mask, and they loved who they were even more because of it. 
Nothing else seems to matter at this moment. 
When Taehyung sees them, a tear rolls down his cheek. 
"I told you, didn't I?"
And across the way, watching from the safety of their own car, Jaejin watches as Yen doesn't bother to hide her tears. This time, he doesn't comfort her, he doesn't say a word. The smile on her face and the bright glistening of her eyes tells him all he needs to know. 
"We never left, not even for a minute." 
As BTS exits the car, Jaejin drives you to the back entrance, undetected. They walk down the red carpet, smiles bright and large, eyes filled to the brim with tears, and you walk down the linoleum-tiled hallways to the studio alone. While they speak in their interviews, you're suffocated as soon as you enter your dressing room, stylists and managers drowning you with makeup, outfits, and extensive instructions. 
And though the two of you are walking on your own separate paths, you cannot help but remember the first time you ever saw the seven men you and a whole nation hold dear. You were but a child, young and naive, staring at them with wide eyes through a computer screen. Imagination and creativity were the only things that could have possibly managed to get you close to the dream they awakened in you that day, and now they are the reason you were able to achieve it. 
In the future, you will wonder if you'll grow to regret this decision, or if it is the best one you could have made. 
But for now, all you can do is smile. 
And so for now, that is all you will do.

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
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thank you for reading!