"Even when a star dies, it gives birth to another one. It's mere existence is life and growth. One day I wish to be as infinite as the stars. To exist forever, if at least in their hearts."
When you left, you were not looking for a savior.
When he...
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When Taehyung woke up today he wasn't sure if he'd be able to make it.
Everything had started to cave in, and the voices he had managed to keep quiet for so long had begun to rise back up to the surface. In their wake he was met once more with his fear.
Ever since the day he said goodbye, the day he saw his fans for who they truly were, he has been wary of this fear. The moment when everything would cease to be important and he would fall back into the pit he had felt all those years before.
Amidst that swirling current of ups and downs, he had once wondered if his happiness could ever be achieved or if that was where he was meant to stay. Stagnant and unmoving. A foreboding statute of what he used to be, what he was always afraid of becoming.
Now, at its resurgence he is met with the very same tantalizing emotion. Afraid that he isn't enough, that no one will care. Perhaps most of all, he's afraid of what will happen after.
That things will stay the same.
That they are walking back into the cage instead of setting themselves free. Once they have him in their clutches again, he's afraid he will fall deep into the darkness, only this time he won't be able to find his way out. Instead he'll be lost. A fragment of who he once was drowning in the depths of his solitude where no one can hear him. His masked persona conducting his movements, as though he were a puppet on a string, whilst he screams to be freed of the shackles he has bound himself to.
He doesn't want things to be the same, he doesn't want to go back to what they were before.
None of them do.
As they ride wordlessly to the venue, Taehyung sits there in his silence, staring fervently at the black screen of his phone as though waiting for someone to come and distract him from the toxic waste of his mind.
Jungkook can't stop moving, his leg bouncing to the rhythm of their song. Trying his best to ignore the overwhelming anxiety by repeating the steps over and over in his mind.
Jimin gnaws on his bottom lip as he clenches and unclenches his fist on his knees, his nails scraping raw against the same patch of skin and leaving behind a gruesome, painful mark.
Namjoon sits still and quiet, lost in one corner of his mind, unable to escape for fear of what he'll find on the other side.
Yoongi taps on his knee the beat of a million accompaniments he's been creating ever since he opened his eyes that morning, as he listens to Hoseok murmur incoherently to himself in hushed tones.
Jin doesn't look at anyone or speak to anyone as he stares out the window. His heart pounds deep within his chest, and so he focuses on that if only to avert the impending panic due to set in.
The one thing they all share is the silence. A silence so deathly quiet that when Taehyung's phone rings, it startles the entire car.
And as soon as Taehyung sees the caller ID, his heart stops.
